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It's pretty spot on for being DIY. I'de be pretty darn content with it if I were you. My only advice would be to continue shooting, and just play around like paint on a canvas with lights in different spots, playing with shadows etc. But in terms of a commercial, everything lit photograph, it's good.
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Lighting and clarity seem fine but the ose of the model seems awkward. Perhaps turning towards the camera would add more definition and the neck area seems out of porportion. I'm certainly not an expert but thats what I see. Good Luck and keep shooting..
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this one the b/g is too bright not easy with the lights you are using the only way you can control them is by moving using the inverse law if at 1 meter it is 500 watts then at 2 meters it is 250 watts or get different power globes for some of the lights ie 125,250 and 500 this will help if studio size is a problem and keep the heat down
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I have a book to recommend regarding posing of models; Posing Technique for Photographing Model Portfolios by Billy Pegram. Excellent, excellent book with plenty of pictures showing the bad and the good along with text explaining why the bad is bad and what makes the good better.
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