I need some feedback on this shot please

[sdstone00]

I've received a lot of comments on the image, but I think that their is more that can be done for it and I just can't put my finger on it. Looking for some suggestions on this please.

Shot on my Nikon D200 with a 55-200 VR lens at about 125mm.

Exposure is 1/250 sec at f/8.0 ISO 100

Light source was SB-800 to my left shooting into a 60" umbrella (Photek Softlighter)

[Benji]

First thing I noticed was the shadow at camera left across her right eye and cheek. Second thing I noticed was her hair looks mesy and unkept. If this was a planned portrait shoot these two items are problematic. If this was a grab shot neither of these two items are problematic.

Benji

[RNardelli]

Technically, I think you could use a bit of fill light on her face and the hair in mouth is a peeve of mine. She's an adorable girl but I find the image a bit provocative for a girl of her age. Of course, that's just my opinion and I'm sure that was not your intent.

Edit: Corrected a typo.

[barry100]

i would have moved the hoar from over her right eye so you could get the light reflection better or the same in both eyes. Also I think her 'pout' is to forced and unnatural. But i like the light and the composition is decent enough

[JeffSmith]

Let's put the composition to one side for a moment as the comments already made a quite valid.

In my opinion, the lighting is too flat which causes the face to level out and loose its contours. Try moving the light out further to one side so that there's a small triangular shadow cast by the nose. This will give much more texture and depth to your portraiture rather than washing out the facial contours.

[WooD]

I like it, I would probably do a touch of post work to brighten up her right eye, but other than that I think it looks pretty good.

[sdstone00]

Thank you all for the continued feedback.

A little about the shot and my thought process:

I was trying the 1 light technique from zarias.com and my daughter had just woke up and was a barely willing subject. Her smile was totally flat and I had her start sharing her facial expressions based on the emotion I told her. This was her angry face. I was using her hair as a natural framing around her face for the expression.

I agree that the pout looks a bit forced. I didn't like the way the upper lip is more prominent in the image. I feel that the right eye is underexposed a bit probably do to the shadow from the hair. I'm not sure why I didn't think of dodging the eye in post processing, but thank you for that idea.

@JeffSmith - Thank you for the suggestion with the lighting set up. I will try again using the same set up but again from more of an angle and use a reflector to bounce light back up into her face to fill shadows.

[cherrygirl]

Originally Posted by RNardelli

Technically, I think you could use a bit of fill light on her face and the hair in mouth is a peeve of mine. She's an adorable girl but I find the image a bit provocative for a girl of her age. Of course, that's just my opinion and I'm sure that was not your intent.

Edit: Corrected a typo.

I agree with this post. I love the close up and the messy hair doesn't bother me but I would like it better if she had a more natural look on her face without a forced pout. She does have beautiful eyes and I'm drawn to them but the mouth is just too distracting.

[daddyoproductions]

More than half the time kids' pouts are forced! lol...I like the pose but agree with the lighting comment to try...TFS!
~C