portrait critique needed

[claudio_Gottardi]

exif data eos450D 50mm 1/80s f/4 ISO200
strobish handmade spyderlite whit soft-box
B&W conversiono and some partial desaturation

I'd love to hear what you think of light, it can be good or whether you think it is too weak, I used 5 lights echo from 25W (650W) in a soft box 100mmx60mm .......
all the other criticisms are welcome :-)

[windrider86]

Do you have anything in mind that you are wanting help with? What do you find in this photo that could be improved upon? By asking something more specific you give us something to go on and what to suggest for you.
So far tho, I'm not fond of the color of her lips, it just isnt working for me. Perhaps if she had a tad bit of color on her cheeks to off balance them it might work

[claudio_Gottardi]

thanks windrider86!
i'm sorry ... now i have add some question ...

[SandeeWig]

Hi Claudio...

In terms of the light, depending on what your objective was, I feel like a reflector camera right would have served you well. You just barely get a glimpse of her left eye, but the harsh shadows on that side really just swallow it up.

And just a comment about the desaturation...for me, it doesn't work that well, mainly because the only real color that stands out is that in her lips. When i view the larger version I can see a hint of blue in her eye, but it is really minimal. So, the color in her lips become a focal point that detracts from the image as a whole.

Just my thoughts...

[claudio_Gottardi]

many thanks SandeeWig
your observations very interesting! :-)