Not Sure What This Needs

[Spiralofourdiv]

Canon XSi w/ 17-85mm f/4 IS USM lens
1/25 second
f/6.3
ISO 400
59.0mm

All critiques are welcome, but I am mainly looking for ideas on more artistic direction. I feel like this piece could be a LOT stronger, but I'm not sure what would quite to it...

Thank you all in advance.

-Brian

[WooD]

The wire going in the side of his head, and lack of eyes are a little distracting.

[Spiralofourdiv]

Originally Posted by WooD

The wire going in the side of his head, and lack of eyes are a little distracting.

....Well, that would defeat the entire point of the photo and it would just be a rather blasé portrait.

It is in the "portrait" section, but it's really more of an art piece, or so I want it to be. What I am trying to say with it is that people tend to live their lives through technology nowadays. We come home from work or school, turn on our computers, log in and THEN start living our lives.

-Brian

[shadows57]

understand your concept. read a novel years ago about what you want to achieve. maybe have the person use a more relax expression. ie. mouth open a little, and look totally zoned out. also observe people who are zoned out on computers and you'll get it.

[irishmuth]

take the blur tour over the edges of the wire and it will look more natural and less Photoshopped into the image. Also, I think you need to find a way to put a gloss on the logos over the eyes - the concept is there but it would be cool if they still had the sheen and qualities of real eyeballs, despite being replaced by the logos.

[Spiralofourdiv]

Originally Posted by irishmuth

take the blur tour over the edges of the wire and it will look more natural and less Photoshopped into the image. Also, I think you need to find a way to put a gloss on the logos over the eyes - the concept is there but it would be cool if they still had the sheen and qualities of real eyeballs, despite being replaced by the logos.

I totally agree, but i have had problems really getting them to shine line computer monitors. I'll work on it though.

[Spiralofourdiv]

Originally Posted by shadows57

understand your concept. read a novel years ago about what you want to achieve. maybe have the person use a more relax expression. ie. mouth open a little, and look totally zoned out. also observe people who are zoned out on computers and you'll get it.

I tried a lot of different facial expressions, and the "relaxed" version you describe, once i got rid of the eyes, just looked high. As for the other people on computers.... hmm; interesting idea i will have to think about. Maybe in the background or something?

[WooD]

Originally Posted by Spiralofourdiv

....Well, that would defeat the entire point of the photo and it would just be a rather blasé portrait.

It is in the "portrait" section, but it's really more of an art piece, or so I want it to be. What I am trying to say with it is that people tend to live their lives through technology nowadays. We come home from work or school, turn on our computers, log in and THEN start living our lives.

-Brian

Some people have real lives outside a computer.

[Loving It]

I love it!!!!! I know some people who are completely lost without the cell phone or blackberry.
They are texting people 24-7. Great idea.
Alright, regarding lighting etc. I like the light coming from the lower left corner. The problem you are running into though, it makes the shirt so white that there is no detail in it. This makes the lines between the shirt and tie very strict. (solid white meets solid black) There are no shadows. The tie is also completely black, no detail. Try lowering the brightness in the bottom left corner and increase it in the top right a bit. You want the man to be the focus so even tone all around him is a must.

2nd. I like the cord in the ear, but it blends in too much with the background. Perhaps a darker cord will stand out better.

3rd. The eyes. The blue fills the right eye, but the red only covers half of the left eye. There are some letters in the eyes, but the picture is too small so I can't read them. I would ajust the eyes so the color either fills the entire eye (for both eyes) or just the pupil. You can play with the intensity and colors also. I would adjust the color of the text so it stands out a little better.

I love the expresson on his face. Perfect for the image you are going for. My first thought, He's being pulled in by their tractor beam. Very creative.

PS - What if you moved the light so it was in front of him like light coming from a monitor? just a thought
PSS - One last thought. If you want the eyes to reflect what is on the monitor, the color would also be on the entire face. You might want to take a picture of whatever is on the monitor, flip is so the writing is backwards, paste it on his face and lower the opacity so it has a glow over his entire face. Good Luck

[Spiralofourdiv]

Originally Posted by Loving It

I love it!!!!! I know some people who are completely lost without the cell phone or blackberry.
They are texting people 24-7. Great idea.
Alright, regarding lighting etc. I like the light coming from the lower left corner. The problem you are running into though, it makes the shirt so white that there is no detail in it. This makes the lines between the shirt and tie very strict. (solid white meets solid black) There are no shadows. The tie is also completely black, no detail. Try lowering the brightness in the bottom left corner and increase it in the top right a bit. You want the man to be the focus so even tone all around him is a must.

2nd. I like the cord in the ear, but it blends in too much with the background. Perhaps a darker cord will stand out better.

3rd. The eyes. The blue fills the right eye, but the red only covers half of the left eye. There are some letters in the eyes, but the picture is too small so I can't read them. I would ajust the eyes so the color either fills the entire eye (for both eyes) or just the pupil. You can play with the intensity and colors also. I would adjust the color of the text so it stands out a little better.

I love the expresson on his face. Perfect for the image you are going for. My first thought, He's being pulled in by their tractor beam. Very creative.

PS - What if you moved the light so it was in front of him like light coming from a monitor? just a thought
PSS - One last thought. If you want the eyes to reflect what is on the monitor, the color would also be on the entire face. You might want to take a picture of whatever is on the monitor, flip is so the writing is backwards, paste it on his face and lower the opacity so it has a glow over his entire face. Good Luck

1. Currently working on fixing that, but today is a busy day. I have mostly fixed the issue with light balance and the apparel being all washed out in shadow or light. I must admit that I like it better. At first i though that the huge contrast would be less distracting, but It does seem a little overbearing.

2. I've made the cord stick out a bit more, as per changing the contrast.

3.One says facebook and the other says youtube. I am not sure yet whether i like the pupils to show throw a bit or to be completely masked....
One issue is that the facebook logo is blue, so it really hides the eyes, even at lower opacities, while the youtube logo is mostly white, meaning at lower opacities (to make it look natural and not like a cut and paste job), the iris shines though. I'll play around with how much they show.

PS: there are actually two lights, main light it actually on the right of the camera, and the flash is going off on the left (considering the camera is portrait oriented). The flash got rid of all the hard shadows but added some on the right edge. I suppose I can get ride of them pretty easily if they are an issue. I'll check it out.
PPS: The idea isn't actually that they are reflecting monitors (if that was the idea I'd have been doing an awful job!), the idea is actually more that the eyes ARE the monitors, hence my wish to make them a bit more defined (and why they are noisy and have a glass filter on them).

Thanks a ton for all you guys' input, I can't wait to hear more ideas for me to try out. I'll try and have a revision up by tonight or tomorrow.

-Brian