Limelight

[ah_u3]

Hi everybody...

It's been a long time since I last posted to the critique forum, this time it's a black and white, I been studying composition and visual perception, mostly from Michael Freeman's " The photograph's eye" and I tried to put to use all that I learned from that, for this shot I tried to imply movement, and to use diagonal and polygons ( in the skirt) together with vectors for tension in the arms and light trails from the sparkle on the skirt, I included the spot light in the right corner to add balance to the negative space in the upper third and to juxtaposition the dancer and give justification for his off centre position, I also boosted the contrast alot specially on the dancers shirt, cropped highlights in that area I think would add interestingness and compel the viewer to contribute to pull detail out of it, don't know if that worked or not, I also wanna ask about the body of the skirt inbetween the polygons, I could have boosted regional contrast there to bring out the wrinkles in it, but then again thought if I wanna abstractize (if thats a word ) the polygons and not balance of positive to negative space then I should leave it that way, I need advice on that, plus of course any general feedback would be much helpful, here you go....


Untitled by Ahmed Yousry

A traditional "Tanoora" dancer bathes in the limelight, showing off his well crafted skirt and sense of balance, Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt.

I don't know why the full sized picture doesn't appear on the thread, sorry you have to press over it to see it.

[windrider86]

For me, its too hard to tell what it is. The top of his hand is cut off. I think in this case, especially since his face is not being shown, that color may be the way to go on this. It just seems to me that this should be more colorful

[ah_u3]

I think there has been a misunderstanding, the SQUARE pictiure is only a preview !! CLICK ON IT to see the full picture

[metoo]

I'm not a pro and have no idea what the first part of your post meant so please feel free to disregard everything I say. lol

I had a hard time telling exaclt what this was a picture of at first too. Even seeing the full picture. I would like to see it in color my self. It looks like a wonderful colorful outfit he was wearing. I also would have liked it backed up a bit so all of the skirt was in the picture. just my 2 cents for what it's worth.

[praline3001]

I agree this would look better in color but with that said, you picked B&W so we shall go with it.

The polygons do give the appearance of movement. The distraction is really the white in the shirt. It almost looks blown out? It kind of hurts the eyes a bit and there is no texture to break up all of that white in the shirt. Also it is obvious in the skirt that there is movement but there is no movement in the shirt? It kind of makes the guy look like he is split in half?

I think the B&W could work if the white in his right arm/shoulder was toned down a good bit.

I would still love to see this in color though

[graciousness]

Hi Ahmed,

I think this concept was over thought and overwrought, am afraid to say.

I had to look hard at the photo to figure out what it is and yes, it did hurt my eyes from that bright, white shirt. It looks very flat and overworked, no separation between subject and that black 'background' which looks like it was added in post. I don't even know what that thing is in the air that the guy threw - it looked added or drawn in. You've lost dimensions with that blackness on the background, lack of shadows, lack of soft outlines, etc.

The skirt - whilst the blurred lines indicated motion, it's over sharpened and too much contrast. It just didn't work.

I think I can kinda understand what you were going for and the vision you had in your head when editing this, however, I think you really have over thought this. What works best with images is simplicity in composition and the message. If one can't figure out what is going on with the image, then the concept and message is lost. If one is to go for a more complex image with movement, colours and textures, everything has to be in harmony with each other, otherwise, the image will only look chaotic.

I also agree that this is wanting colours. The B&W just doesn't work as it makes it look even more flat. This also feels quite tight - it needs more room, more space, more of him, more background or scene for context.

Nice attempt, though and it's great to see you thinking outside the box!

Would love to see the coloured or another edited version of this.....

Cheers,

Grace

[praline3001]

I think this concept was over thought and overwrought, am afraid to say.

I couldn't agree more. It seems whenever I try my hardest to get the perfect shot I mess it up. When I am just snapping away and not worried about all of the technical stuff I end up with much better photos.

Sometimes (really most of the time) simple is the best. Let your eyes do the talking. Let your camera translate what it is your trying to say rather then your words.

Take a look at this thread (hope you don't mind Meagen that I am using your thread hehe)

First black and white portrait

This is her very first B&W portrait. She messed up on the shadows on one side of the face (hence the half face man look) but do you see the drama and realism in the good half? There is feeling and the photo evokes a strong emotion in the viewer. In any photography ~ no matter who or what it is for ~ the goal is to evoke an emotional response from the viewer. I think another way this photo would have gone from a C+ to an A++ is if you had gotten his face. Some photos work just fine without seeing the face. The emotional response is found in other areas of the photo. In this case, the emotion on the man's face would have triggered an emotional response. Was he tense? enjoying himself? How tired and weary was he? These are things that the viewer could relate to. Even if we could see what it is he is looking at while dancing would have made this photo work. Was there an audience out there? Was he dancing for joy in his own room or on a street? these things would trigger emotional response in the viewer.

I really like your idea and where you are going but I don't think this photo is going to work the way you intended it to.

What WOULD make this photo top notch award winning type of photo is if it:
1. Was in color
2. Showed the man's face
3. Showed what he is dancing for/to

I am not knocking your photo as it is a good photo. I don't think anyone here is... we just see such a HUGE potential for an extremely moving piece and would love to see you meet the challenge.

[ah_u3]

Thanks guy for the comprehensive reviewing, I can well say this thread has been of more benefit to me than anywhere else I ever posted photos to, I STUDIED what you guys all said, and then worked on a color version, that solved the background issue, the spotlight that was too obscure, the skirt, as for the face issue that was impossible at the time of shooting since the guys movement comes from his waist, he turn his waist at a constant speed but his torse turns only in thrusts, while his face always facing away from the camera, and no chance for changing position back then, this also explains the difference in speed between his body, still and in focus, and the skirt, this same fact is what indeed provoked me for this shot, it's a hard thing to explain how he moved in words really, I hoped the photo implies it, here you go guys, I NEED FEEDBACK ON THIS as much as I needed for the B&W, I edit my photos on a plasma screen with a contrast ration of 2,000,000, I'm always skeptical about desktop/laptop screens, PLEASE feed me back if any colors are blown out, the yello in the shirt for instance, here you go....


Untitled by Ahmed Yousry

[ah_u3]

oh and please give me a grade, I loved "think another way this photo would have gone from a C+ to an A++ ..." praline please tell me what grade is it now

[praline3001]

Beautiful!

I love the coloring. Am I correct in you added the light at the top right corner? I would take that out and try for some other graphic. It looks futuristic space like and he is doing a traditional dance. Maybe there is a glow or gradient type of lighting you can use instead?

Also in the very front paragon (its yellow) there is a yellow spot at the right of the pargon. Is that from his fabric or is it a lighting issue? I would try and tone down that yellow spot.

But it is a million times better. WOW! I knew it would be but wasn't expecting it to be THAT much of an improvement!