Does it work? Rules out the window.

[NicolaB]

This was on a roundabout. I like it - but does it work for you? ALL guidance gratefully received :-)



Camera Canon EOS 5D Mark II
Exposure 0.001 sec (1/800)
Aperture f/1.8
Focal Length 85 mm
ISO Speed 100

[BigFuzzy]

First off, nice job on the color conversion.. i think it works well.

I know this won't be helpful, but I don't know if it works for me.. I'm just not sure how I feel about the pole on the right. I think in the end it draws too much of my attention away from the girl.. maybe that's because her eyes are a bit dark.. that if they had more light in them, I'd be drawn to them more.. Plus I don't like her hand in front of her mouth (and yes, I know how tough it is with kids and this could be the only decent shot you got.. but still)
Also, because the rest of the image is so subdued, the watermark/logo actually is one of the more eyecatching parts of the image.. try making it a bit more transparent.

In the end, it's an ok shot for me, doesn't go in either direction (good/bad)...

Great DoF by the way.

[deck]

Let us know what you need commenting here, is it composition? emotion? black and whiteness?

[NicolaB]

Everything - lol! I am still v new to all this and just want to learn all I can from each post. It is nice to get good job - but I am learning so much from critiques.

When it is images of people I love I find it difficult to see past the subject!

I will try the logo again (it doesn't mean anything yet - I just got carried away - lol). It was an overcast day so I thought woo hoo I can shoot anywhere. Lesson learnt - take time to find catchlights! Whoopie that you like the colour conversion. Thanks Al.

[deck]

Everything? haha, that's kind of vague, but anyways, here goes...

first thing I'd say is I like the black and white of it since the tones are good... but what you can improve is the composition, the black bar to the right is ok but there's another white part after it which makes it distracting, one way to improve it is to make the composition tighter, I have included a crop of your photo to show how it would look if you got a bit closer

Also, I like the blur at the background and the way the subject is looking at the cam...
and the sharpness is good also, just right

[S_Sanyal]

Thats a great picture, and Deck's crop i think, without the sliver on the right makes it even better. With one exception, which I have stated below. As for "everything", here goes...(this is about the original picture posted)

Composition and emotion: I think its important to see the pole / bar here as she seems to be looking past it into your lens, it makes it more interesting than just one of many million portraits with a face and a background, of course with exceptions there. Like was noted above, the sliver should be gone.I would however, keep her whole head, as the ruffled hair conveys some action in the scene. I hope you dont mind but I have cropped and attached accordingly as a squarish frame..

More importantly, the composition is really compelling (cant exactly explain it, which is what makes it great) and in sync with the expression in her eyes, call it what you want, a fleeting glance, part hiding, like i said i cant describe it exactly, so thats what really speaks to me from this image...

Tones, sharpness and depth-of-field: Couldn't be better, great glow on her cheeks, every part of the scene seemsperfectly exposed according to its importance.Even the slight difference which makes her right eye brighter is nice and provides some interest. I'd love to come back to this picture once everyday, expecting something to have moved !!!

If this is an un-posed picture, I'm very curious to know the planning and thought-process (roundabout??)that went into it, would be glad if you could share that as well, it may enrich the discussion. I live by one thing in portraits and people photography, a poignant statement made by one of the masters of documenting life as it is, Raghu Rai (you can google images and see his work):
"I believe that the photographer's job is to cut a frame-sized slice of life out of the world around him so faithfully and honestly that if he were to put it back again, life and the world would move again without a stumble"

[edbayani]

very good black and white conversion. i would crop it vertically.

[S_Sanyal]

Thats a good one edbayani! It gets rid of the distracting-ish black vertical on the left.

[NicolaB]

one way to improve it is to make the composition tighter

Thank you everyone - all better than the original. I didn't want to do a head chop, but you are right, it does look better - as do the verticals. Ummm - which way to go???

If this is an un-posed picture, I'm very curious to know the planning and thought-process (roundabout??)that went into it

Errrr - I did think of sounding intellectual and making up a clever answer - but sadly, I was just trying to get some nice images in the playground - when they were enjoying themselves :-( Sorry to be a dissapointment ). The wooden pole IS the roundabout. There are 4 poles and the kids then sit on on those rubber handle things you can see. I was pushing it around whilst snapping and the look on her face was as she tried to be clever and go hands free - knowing her 18 month old sister would copy her! (If it doesn't make sense, I will get a full photo next time we go so you can see a quirky UK roundabout :-)

masters of documenting life as it is, Raghu Rai

Oh my! I found it hard to look after the first image of the childs burrial. His images evoke such emotion!