Wwyd

[private]

I have been asked me to take some photos of a client's friend's son who is terminal (he is 16) and probably won't see 17. I feel I want to do it for free but I also think I should accept pmt because its a gift given out of love and I should not mess with it.

WWYD?

[takethislife5150]

If they present money to you, do your best to not take it, tell them they really don't need to. Etc.

I would definitely do it for free no questions asked (as I'm sure most people would without a doubt)
kind of a sticky situation really

[beatles2]

That would be a tough shoot !! I have no idea what I would do, but I'm sure you do what your heart says is right.

[calmaxgan]

If they are insisting on paying and you know it is making them feel better to do so, perhaps you could ask them to suggest an institution for making a donation on their son's behalf and donate some of your fee.

I wish you lots of positive energy for the shoot... it will no doubt be a toughie.

[PnwGuy]

Great idea on the donation Calmax.

It sounds like a challenging shoot. Please let us know what you decide to do. I'd also be interested in you sharing the experience both in words and shots, if you're comfortable.

[private]

My client is insisting on giving me payment. I will accept the payment but buy a gift for the family with the money. I am not sure what yet, maybe a canvas or a leatherbound book or something like that. That way I am not profiting off of someone's pain and my client feels like she is helping her friend.

If the family will let me, I will post a few of the pics. I just don't know HOW I am gonna get through it, I will have to put my make believe hat on. I need to see him as a vibrant young man, not someone who is terminal. I truly believe that how you see your subject is reflected in the final product.

[AGoldenTouchPhotography]

I think you are making the right choice and the family will really appreciate a thoughtful gift.
As far as getting through the shoot, I would try to stay light hearted and fun. You can get him to loosen up and capture some of the spark that his family will miss so much when he is gone.

[teedlepeep]

I agree with the person who said to donate it towards research of what is wrong with him. I totally understand what you said about how you see him is going to come out in the shoot, so take a few and talk with him. I bet that even with what is going on with him, that he is vibrant and in good humor. Those things will come out. And frankly you can ask him how he would like to be remembered. He may have some ideas about it .. which would be a great lead in !

You will do amazing with this .... stop thinking so much and just do what you do best !!!!

[Digidave]

Well, I hate to add to your anxiety but this needs to be asked. Do they want pictures that will remind them of a dieing son or pictures that will remember him as young & vibrant? This is something you should be thinking about & asking yourself. Trying to be sensitive here.

How does he look? Is he lying in a bed looking feeble & weak? Would you want everlasting pictures of your son in that position? I honestly don't know how I would feel about that. Maybe you should have a makeup artist on hand? This could be very awkward at the moment but I would think that if he looks very sickly & pale a little makeup would make for a better memory. If possible, take him outdoors for a few shots. It would make him appear more alive, for lack of a better word. I may be using a poor choice of words here but you see what I'm getting at, don't you?

Keep in mind that you are doing the right thing & you'll do fine. Wishing you the best of luck.

[douglas]

Apart from the "fee" side of things, this is going to be difficult. As someone else said would you want a picture of your.... terminally ill relative? You probably have lots of pictures from before.
In hospital some time ago I saw something similar.A lady with terminal disease, and the husband asked, if he could ask a photographer to come in. which was fine with me. He arranged for some of her family to come in to be in the picture...some of whom she hadn,t seen for a long time. The whole mood shanged, the patient brightened up, and I,m sure he got some good pictures for their memories.