What’s Your Preference?

fstopMike · #1 (**permalink**) 04-17-2009, 04:34 PM

I tried, but I couldn't help myself. For days on end I would find myself slowly moving my mouse to the address bar of my browser, my right hand pushing the mouse toward the monitor screen while my brain was screaming, "NO, don't do it, don't go there, you can't get involved with camera porn!". My left hand reached over and wrapped itself around my right wrist gripping it with the power of a boa constrictor, the left side of my body struggling against the insistent pull of the right, but the lure of camera porn was just too great and I capitulated, waves of pleasure releasing endorphins in my brain as I engorged the images of lenses before my eyes.

My days were spent wasting away in front of the computer monitor viewing images of lenses and my nights were filled with dreams of lenses. I looked at my camera and I saw my Sigma 17-70, F2.8-4.5 by herself, so lonely and forlorn. All I could feel was heartfelt sorrow for this little thing, sullen and pining for some companionship. She was so pretty, her gold and white lettering gleaming against her flat black background. I wet my thumb with my tongue and reached down and wiped off a smudge of dirt, a subtle reminder of the time we had spent just yesterday on our last shoot. The wet warmth stirred her and her rings started rotating, longing for more of my touch. "Be patient, my love and I will bring you ecstacy", I said, the stacatto rapping of my fingers on the keyboard betraying my utter failure to resist the siren call of the internet camera store. I now knew I had lensophobia!

When I visited my doctor, complaining of what I thought was simple lensophobia, I found the problem lay much deeper when he told me I had a full fledged case of SusanH-itis, an insidious disease for which there is no cure. I find I am doomed to a life of unfulfilled camera envy and the new Sigma 70-300 f4-5.6 APO-M DG that is now on its way is only the first of a long string of camera gear temptations against which I will always struggle but will never be able to conquer.

I have become the newest poster boy for SusanH-itis. Don't be like me--never read a SusanH1970 post without protection!

LoveDSLR · #2 (**permalink**) 04-18-2009, 05:50 AM

I'm so happy that you only infected by SusanH-itis. If you ever visit NikonCafe, Lens lust section then you'll be infected by the NAS (Nikon Acquisition Syndrome*). I'm afraid your next purchase will be the Nikon 200 f/2.

Congrats on your new toy!

*You can even google this common infection.

windrider86 · #3 (**permalink**) 04-19-2009, 01:47 AM

You all ready have the horrifically infectious DPSITOUS virus that is incurable

mstark70 · #4 (**permalink**) 04-19-2009, 02:07 AM

Anyone have a smoke? After reading this I feel a little dirty, but I think I like it. Oh no, is this the first stage?

SusanH1970 · #5 (**permalink**) 04-19-2009, 03:41 AM

Here I am away on vacation, popping in here and there to see what's going on (yes, DPS addiction is yet another disease, I'm afraid....). When I saw this thread I thought my inlaws were about to send me to the loony bin, I was laughing so freakin' hard. I'm wiping tears away and my stomach hurts!

Ah, thank you all for this laugh! And Mike, you dirty, dirty boy. Camera porn...naughty! Make sure you wash your hands before you touch that new lens. By the way, you'll love it! I don't know if I should congratulate you or apologize.

When I get home I'll have some great pics from the Mystic Aquarium and the Roger Williams Park Zoo to post.

I'm still laughing!

fstopMike · #6 (**permalink**) 04-19-2009, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by windrider86

You all ready have the horrifically infectious DPSITOUS virus that is incurable

I hope it's incurable! Finding DPS has awakened my love for photography and I'm looking forward to taking my skills to the next level.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mstark70

Anyone have a smoke? After reading this I feel a little dirty, but I think I like it. Oh no, is this the first stage?

The disease is progressive, so I foresee many stages to come. Camera porn is highly addictive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SusanH1970

Here I am away on vacation, popping in here and there to see what's going on (yes, DPS addiction is yet another disease, I'm afraid....). When I saw this thread I thought my inlaws were about to send me to the loony bin, I was laughing so freakin' hard. I'm wiping tears away and my stomach hurts!

Ah, thank you all for this laugh! And Mike, you dirty, dirty boy. Camera porn...naughty! Make sure you wash your hands before you touch that new lens. By the way, you'll love it! I don't know if I should congratulate you or apologize.

When I get home I'll have some great pics from the Mystic Aquarium and the Roger Williams Park Zoo to post.

I'm still laughing!

Glad you enjoyed it! You seem to have enough of a sense of humor that I could take off on some of the previous posts. I really had to restrain myself to keep from going further, but I figured this was just enough for everybody to get the idea and not post something X-Rated. Anyway, I had a good time letting my imagination go. Now if only I could take some imaginative photographs!