So You Think You Can Shoot - Lessons from a First-Time Wedding Shooter

[graciousness]

I have just come back from my first wedding shoot that occurred 2 days ago. I'm dead tired (still), my legs still barely work, I'm mentally broken and I'm feeling deflated. It doesn't help that I have almost 3,000 photos to sort through and edit in the next couple of weeks.

Through dejection and fatigue, I am writing this thread because I want to share my experience with all of the new photographers out there who are desiring or thinking of shooting weddings, or moreover, wanting to make a living out of it. My aim is not to discourage you from doing such feats, but rather to, at least, make you think twice about making a leap into this business side of photography.

I was approached by friends 8 months ago through recommendation about shooting their wedding. They couldn't find a photographer in the area and were not going to bother with one until someone mentioned me. I refused, initially, as I know that I'm not qualified to do it. However, after an hour of no's and please, getting details of the simple wedding and compensation, I agreed. They get a photographer, my family and I get to attend their wedding that we couldn't initially afford to go to.

It's been eight months of hard work trying to improve my photography and accumulating the equipments I need for the job. If you want to see the list of gears I had to get, you can read it on this thread.

A lot of money had been spent getting the gears I need. But when I accepted the job, I made a conscious decision that if I was going to do it, I was going to do it right. In my mind, if things turn out well, I will have some wedding photos I can use as part of my portfolio. So I needed to invest in the business if I was going to give it a try.

Two days ago was the wedding.

Eight hours of solid, non-stop, work, averaging 350 shots per hour. All by myself. The wedding started in the middle of the afternoon, ceremony around 5 pm so not quite getting the golden hours to get good, natural beach lighting as the sunset was almost around 9 pm. The reception started at 7:30, first dance around 10:30, I packed up by 11:30.

Those 8 hours one of the most difficult, gruelling, challenging 8 hours of my life.

The event, the pressure, the stress, the people were all so overwhelming that I had neglected to remember and execute my shot plan. I forgot everything that I had learnt just for the occasion. My mind and body ached but I couldn't stop. I had a job to do, alone. I really needed an assistant and second shooter but none were available. I knew, that as the afternoon and evening went on, I wasn't getting and shooting the shots I wanted and needed.

I've shot birthday parties with over 60 people and I always managed well. But not at this wedding with 60 people. This was different. There was a lot at stake and I was under the pressure.

It's been 2 days since the wedding. I've saved all the photos in my hardrive. They are all ready to be edited. I'm still exhausted. Disappointed. Not only with the shots but with the gnawing thought that wedding photography is not for me. It is breaking my heart because I thought I can do around 5 to ten weddings a year just to help with our finances. Have fun. But after having a quick look at all the photos, my heart is heavy. My money shots aren't there. Nothing I want to use for my portfolio. The pressure, the stress, the fatigue go the better of me.

And all that reflected on the photos.

And it's not because I'm a bad photographer. I've been told I'm a good one and I believe I've been getting consistent good images the last several months. I didn't have control at all of the wedding shoot. You have to go with the flow, and the flow was fast and stressful. Not only it's because weddings are once-in-a-lifetime events, but once you are being paid to do a shooting job, the stress level is even upped several notches. You simply can't afford to mess up.

But you see, being a good photographer is not good enough for wedding photography. You have to be an experienced photographer with a lot of gut, mental and physical stamina, and good business sense. If you think being told by friends and family that you can do it, that you are a good photographer is going to give you the golden ticket to professional photographer, you are being deluded into unrealistic expectations of what professional photography is. More so, wedding photography is even a whole different kettle of fish to family photography or even fashion.

Wedding photography requires every type of skill sets - photojournalism, studio, portraiture, family photography - all rolled into one. It's a whole different type of beast to what you think you know about wedding photography.

If I could go back to 8 months ago, I would decline taking the job. This is a wedding where I should have enjoyed watching my friends tie the knot, toast drinks with them, mingled, have a laugh. But I didn't do any of that. Instead, I was like an outsider recording an event for someone and I have to be mindful of where I am so I'm not disturbing the flow of the day. I had to shoot at corners and distances to stay out of the way whilst at the same time, have to make sure that the images look like you were right in the midst of the celebration.

I have 2 other weddings this year that recently was referred to me. I haven't followed it through to see if i want to do it because I wanted to see how I would do with this wedding. I don't know the brides and grooms; they would be properly paid jobs if I accept them.

I don't know if I am going to accept them.

The experience of this first wedding has made me realise how really difficult it is to shoot weddings. Sure the $2K - $3K sounds like it's worth it, doesn't it? Guess again.

The amount of gears, time and stress I spent for one wedding has made me really realise why wedding photographers charge they way they do. I'm not just talking about overhead costs, but a lot of it is for their experience, skills and labour. Never, ever underestimate the value of those.

Never, ever underestimate the demands of wedding photography.

If you come here in the forum or ask someone if you should shoot your friends' wedding or go into the business after a year of having your DSLR, please please please take it to heart when you get replies telling you to not do it. These photographers know from experience how difficult it is. They're not trying to stop you out of arrogance or seniority - they are advising you out of their own experiences and real desire to help you.

Should you accept an offer from friends or family to shoot their wedding? I would strongly say NO. Be a guest. A family member. Enjoy the wedding. This is not the time to prove how good of a photographer you are.

With this long, epic thread, I hope I have given you an insight on how it is to shoot a wedding. I am sharing my own experience and disappointments so that you can possibly avoid the fatigue and disheartenment that I am feeling now.

Now I'm going to start editing. I think out of almost 3,000 shots, I will have 100 ok ones. I'm sure my friends will think they are good and will really appreciate anything I give them. But as an image maker, I can't help but feel I've let myself down.

I thought I was going to be good enough at this time. But it's not enough.

Thanks for reading.

Grace

[autofocus]

Welcome to the club, Gracie...initiation by fire

[Niresangwa]

Nice write up Grace...

...for what it's worth, I'll bet in a few days time once you get rested and get the PP started, your tune will not sound quite so dejected. Happens to me every single weekend.

[RichardTaylor]

Thanks very much for this post, Grace.

[FlyingKiwiGirl]

Grace, I was with you every word along the way. It was virtually the same for me at my first and only wedding I did for my girlfriend's son's wedding. I never wanted to do it and I said never again in the following days but now, who knows? Time does dull the pain Like yours it was exhausting, I was over 12hrs on my feet and like you I felt like an outsider. Not fun when everyone else is enjoying the occasion. I also spent many months preparing for it and while I felt I couldn't stuff any more details in my head I still had plenty to learn. I also didn't follow my shot plan either, not because I forgot just that the bridal party had other ideas, like drinking! I was far from impressed with my 900+ photos but luckily the B&G thought they were wonderful(mind you, they were easy to please). Small mercy. Also we're our own worse critic so don't be getting too down on yourself.

You never know, learn from this experience and approach the next one with all this valuable insight that you've gained.

[bhursey]

Welcome to the club they get better the more you do. Don't be discouraged by your first one learn your lessons and go for it again. I would recommend becoming a friends with a few local photographers and get to help each other with jobs that way you have a pool of second shooters. I have about 4 people who I normally ask to help me and vis versa I help them with weddings.

I last year I had to do a wedding with just my wife and me because its as out of state. I pulled it off but having a second shooter takes about 1/3 of the stress off. Also if you get a assistant like a friend or your husband to keep up with the shoot list with you it makes things a whole lot easier. They can say don't forget this shot. My first few weddings I got so street out I had moments where I stopped and could not remember what to do next.

Now you know why I only like to do 1 wedding a year at most 2.

[mbrobich]

Great read. You are human, every wedding photographer suffers that. Sometimes it goes good and smooth, sometimes it does not, it rains !!

Next time make sure you have a backup helper and a good list of required shots and names that your helper will make sure you get. And lastly, you are the boss, make sure the couple tells everyone that is to be photographed they have to listen to you or else !

[Jim Bryant]

I don't shoot weddings all that much, most of my shoots come from annual reports, corporate gigs and pro sporting events. Too me, weddings are too much damn work, that's why I charge at least 3K to start. I might accept one to three a year just to remind me how much I hate them.

[sk66]

Aw Grace...you will almost always let yourself down. As you get better you expect more from yourself, the standards go up, it's never ending.

By the stress, fatigue, and disappointment you express in this post I think you will make a fine wedding photographer. The pressure (largely self induced) got to you...not so good. But you felt the pressure because you CARED and you knew how much it matters, that IS good. You learned a lot, I'm sure. Probably more than you even realize now.

Your story is a good one, realistic and honest. Thank you. I generally cringe when people say they are going to do a wedding, but I think you really tried and did almost everything you could... Next time have a second shooter or assistant, someone to help "manage" and share the load, but you know that now.

I particularly liked this line: "Wedding photography requires every type of skill sets - photojournalism, studio, portraiture, family photography - all rolled into one." Very true, and very demanding. (AND you need to be a "people person")

If you want to pursue it, then do it. Next time you'll know better what to expect, and you'll be *a little* less stressed once it gets going. I don't do weddings because I don't LIKE doing weddings. But if it's something you want to do and will enjoy (NOT just for the money) then keep at it.

Thanks for sharing and I hope others pay attention.

Edit:
Damn! By the time I read this, glanced at your linked post and wrote my reply (along with getting a drink) there were 7 other replies! Don't you people have to work tomorrow? (I don't)

[graciousness]

Oh you guys are just the best. Many, many thanks for your kind words I'm smiling now and am feeling a little better from your words. Really.

Not that the feeling of sucking has left.

I just hate the fact that I know I could have done much better if I wasn't so freaking out. I was so busy trying not to lose moments and capturing everything that I do think I lost the moments in the process. Hope that makes sense.

I think I rushed everything. My husband said I looked like I was in a rush in comparison to the the more relaxed, in the flow self that I am on other shoots.

It also didn't help that I had to lug around 2 camera bodies/lenses up and down the cliff side following the bride and groom to and fro the ceremony. Those steps were steep that at some point, the guests down at the beach side waiting for the bride to arrive were impressed that I could shoot backwards quickly going downhill. In reality, I was actually slipping downhill and still shooting.

And then there's the reception. It was a small place for 60 people and I couldn't really move around. Had to shoot low from the floor most of the time as I couldn't stand cause then I would block guests' view of the bride and groom table and speeches. The tables were all very close together at elbows' length; didn't have 70-200mm f/2.8 to help me shoot from further distance (not that there was much).

I do get a feeling that I think it would have been easier for me if I shooting for strangers and not friends. I would have been more bold and directive with the shots. That didn't happen.

I do wish people would share their experiences more here, though. It really helps newcomers get an idea of how it is to shoot in certain situations and scenes.

Back to editing.

Still looking for the money shot.