Just another MWAC in distress

[graciousness]

Just one of those days. Great way to greet the first day of the new year feeling like this. The other night I felt great and feeling I can do anything and may actually be a decent photographer one day, the next day it's the complete opposite.

I keep questioning myself and wondering if I am one of those dilusional MWACs that let desperation over-run their rationale and delving into a field that I have no business being in. But then someone comes along and tells me otherwise. It doesn't help that they are friends and acquaintances, though. Sometimes it's their job to encourage friends.

I have ideas and visions of the quality of the images I want to create but it's not there yet. Almost, but not quite there yet. However, I keep getting approached for paid services and even though I want to say no, being bloody poor tells me I'm an idiot if I say no. So I've done a few jobs and they are very happy with the photos. But I'm not. I wanted for them to be better. But I guess at this point, if I can satisfy the client, then that's what matters at this time. I haven't formally opened a 'business' yet and that's the only thing that saves my sanity at this time.

I hate this feeling between "I can do this" to "who do I think I am?".

I think that I'm doing everything right so far. But we're in such dire financial situation that I feel I have the responsibility and yeah, some ability to help this.

So to all other MWACs out there (Mother With A Camera), I do know how you feel. I do know how it feels to be barraged with stress and pressure to bring some money into the house. I know we can all do this, but the question is -

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO DO IT?

So yeah. I don't know if the time is now for me. I'm so stressed I can't think straight anymore.

Sorry for the rant. I'm desperate for some verbal smack in the head.

[Tzetsin]

I think if photography was the only consideration to get into business as a photographer pretty much anyone would do it... and succeed.

Unfortunatley "photography" is only a very small part of "photography" Getting the proper gear is also only a small part of the expense.

People often forget the "business" part of "photography business". Often times a person who is competent photographer feels that they can make money at it, and try it out. But eventually they realize that they have ZERO experience or competency in "business". When business is 75% of the work you do in a photography business you quickly realize that you in way over your head.

As if that wasn't hard enough, the cost of gear is high. We can all say that "its the photographer, not the gear" but in photography as a "business" gear is the tool of your trade. If you dont have the tool to do the job, then you cant do the job and your out of business.

As expensive as gear is, its often a pay once and forget it expense. Its certainly not your only expense. You'll have to talk to a lawyer about writing up a bullet proof contract, you'll have to figure out a marketing and promotion scheme, (and stick too it!) you'll have to have insurance and a studio, If you actually want to be successfull you'll need a studio outside your home. its fine enough for your buddies to come into your basement or back room, but its not very professional at all. When you've rented a studio, you have utilities to pay for, and after all that your really going to need an assistant before too long....

Now you have to add up all those costs and figure out how much your paying per day per month so you can figure out how much money you need to average every day to turn a profit and you'll quickly realize that you've just priced yourself out of the market of people that are calling you and have to convince them that your worth it.

Now you can look at what I just wrote and think "oh, I dont need all that, I'll make due with the gears I got, Get a contract off the internet, put an ad in the classifieds and word of mouth, shoot out of my basement because its good enough and just do it myself. That'll keep my cost of business low enough that everyone can affford me and I'll make a lot of profit!"

Sure you could do that... thats what all the other failed mwacs are doing, and you can see just how successful they were.

I dont want to be discouraging, but being a business owner myself, I just want you to understand that running a business is a skill unique unto itself, regardless of what your in the business of selling. And its the "primary" job you'll have as a photographer for hire. You'll be a business woman. Not a photographer. A business woman, who sells photography.

When is the right time you ask? The right time is when you know enough about business and have the capital to do it.

Now all this isnt to say that you shouldn't make money where you can... its good experience and if your not happy with the results your getting, more experience is exactly what you need. No point in doing it for free, so just keep doing what your doing. If its not costing you more to do it, then your not loosing anything.

[graciousness]

Hey, many thanks for your reply.

It's not the business aspect of photography that discourages me. I've actually been taking my time and planning on this part as I know it's simply not good enough to have a camera and a few gears and think it can happen overnight. There's a reason why I haven't created a website, not even a facebook page, logo, nothing. This all involves careful planning and I'm not the type to just put together something just for the sake of having something. If I do jump into it more full time, I want everything to be right.

I also have definite ideas on how I want to present my services and these ideas only get stronger as I progress. A good thing.

I also have discussed having a commercial/residential space we could look at later this year as we are planning on moving (again grrrr). I didn't want to get into studio type set up first, but I realise I simply can't restrict my potentials into doing outdoor work. So a commercial space for my little studio/office and then residence upstairs or at the back. There are financial benefits into this that I like.

I'm more concerned with simply my abilities or potential as a good photographer. I got into photography to suffice my creative need. Couldn't paint anymore after birth due to obvious toxic reasons so photography is my quick fix to do somethign with my hands. To be honest, it's not as fulfilling as painting or graphic work I dab into, but the satisfaction is still there.

I can have all the right gears in the world but if I just don't cut it to be a good photographer, then what use is that?

At this point, the self-doubt is all about the crux of the creative and technical side of photography: it's either I have it even in its premature, raw form or am I just kidding myself?

It's important for me to know if I have the eyes and instinct for it creatively, otherwise, it's just a technical means to making some extra cash. I need to be happy with my work as my clients are.

I'm so pressured, stressed out and depressed I am not thinking clearly.

[Tzetsin]

Originally Posted by graciousness

It's important for me to know if I have the eyes and instinct for it creatively, otherwise, it's just a technical means to making some extra cash. I need to be happy with my work as my clients are.

I just looked slowly through your 500px pages. You most definitely have "it" there is no doubt. Please believe me when i say that I never blow smoke up peoples ass. I don't ever post comments like "good" "nice" "blah blah" If I like it, and I comment, Its because its good. I enjoy a lot of stuff I dont comment on too, I only comment if i REALLY like something.

Your work is very creative. Photography as a business isn't always about creativity though, some people just want pictures that have them smiling nicely, and thats enough for them. A lot of people wont appreciate a lot of "creativity" in their portraiture either. A good business plan would be to have quality "canned" poses as a default, then "creative portraiture" as an aside.

On painting, Have you heard of Corel Painter? I LOVE Corel Painter. That program combined with an intuos 4 and art pen (about 550 bucks plus software) will allow you to have every brush, every paint and every canvas you've ever used in an extremely realistic digital environment and its 100% NON TOXIC ;D

I realize that its an expensive option, but perhaps it might be a better fit for you than photography to release your creative beast.

[graciousness]

I so appreciate the efforts you've taken with this. I really want to make sure I'm not kidding myself and that I'm not about to throw in more time, effort and money into something that I have no eye for. It not only affects me but my family, of course.

One thing that the clients who have hired me so far, say that they hired me because I don't just take cliche' or posed photos, but that what they like was that I capture 'energy' with the kids and scene (their words, not mine). I simply can't bring myself to just tell people "hey, sit there and smile" and snap. There's more to life than faking smiles on purpose

But since I started getting paid, I started getting this feeling of just being a dilusional-desperate-so-called-pro-amateur-mother-with-a-camera. I guess I feel like a fraud knowing that there are so many people who go to school for this profession and I haven't and I'm taking money for it. Especially when I'm not 100% ready for it.

All a part of experience, I guess.

Yes, I had looked into Corel Paint when I got my CS3 web premium. But then because I have Illustrator and Flash with my CS3, I play with those instead. Would love to get Corel Paint at some point, though, but priorities fall somewhere at the moment The cost of Corel Paint is fair enough, though and not too expensive. Painting is an expensive hobby, too! My easel alone cost me (well, my husband) more than $700 alone. For a piece of triangular wood!

Thank you so much for your replies and time. You don't know how much I appreciate them.....

[Tzetsin]

Originally Posted by graciousness

One thing that the clients who have hired me so far, say that they hired me because I don't just take cliche' or posed photos, but that what they like was that I capture 'energy' with the kids and scene (their words, not mine). I simply can't bring myself to just tell people "hey, sit there and smile" and snap. There's more to life than faking smiles on purpose

yep, every situation is going to have the right kind of technique. Kids definitely look best when at play.

About the mwac thing though, I hate to tell you, but you ARE a dilusional-desperate-so-called-pro-amateur-mother-with-a-camera. You are because you think you are.

What I'm hearing is a woman-using-what-skills-she-can-to-take-care-of-her-family. Like I said before, I expect that you'll make sure to take care of the business side of this if you decide to do it, that you'll have the gear and the skill and above all the DEDICATION.

If you decide to do this there can be no second guessing. Its ALL OR NOTHING. If you half ass it because your worried you wont make it, you simply wont make it. If you give it everything and you don't make it, well, nothing ventured nothing gained. If you give it everything then you have a much better chance of success.

I live in western canada, and work in the oilfield there. Its an extremely well paying job. I had it all, cars, toys, money to burn. Then in 2008 the world went to hell and everything stopped. Just like that. Cash cash cash... nothing. Of course the bills dont stop, but there is no job that pays like the job I had and I needed that money for bills. Long story short, everything I thought I had I realized i was only paying for. If you have something, nobody can come and take it.

I had a bit of cash saved up and decided to use my skill with computers to open a computer repair and consulting business. I did the best I could with it for 3 years. At the end of the 3rd year my business was finally turning a profit. It was 20 thousand dollars in debt, but earning enough to pay my bills, the shop's bills and a bit left over for a little fun. 3 years and no profit and I gave it everything I had. I say no profit because if i had a few extra bucks at the end of the month I would use it for more advertising, or to pay off the debt it was accumulating.

At the end of the 3rd year, the world was finally coming back to normal and I was asked to come back to my old job. I jumped at the chance. After 3 years of fixing other peoples junk I cant even LOOK at a computer. I have completely lost any enjoyment for the subject.

Now I work in the oilfield again, and have swapped computers for photography. As time goes by, I'm building my knowledge, and gear in preperation for the oilfield to crap the bed again. If there comes a time that It all stops, you bet your ass I'll be a Dwac (dad with a camera) and I'll use all the skill I have, and the lessons I learned the last time with the computer repair shop to survive again. Only this time I'll be prepaired for it.

So my advice for you is to do what you have to do. If you decide to do it, do it with ZERO reservations. One year? Two years? Three years???? Its commonly accepted that a business needs FIVE years to expect to turn a profit. Before that 5 years is up, just expect to survive.

[Doug Sundseth]

I don't think you need to worry much about your abilities as a photographer. You have a very solid portfolio and you (by the available evidence) can produce professional quality work on demand.

Remember, that's the real difference in skill. You'll never get a portfolio-quality image out of every shoot; but you don't have to. When you're working professionally, good enough really is good enough. (This isn't to say you shouldn't always be striving to be amazing; it's just not possible every day.)

It might help to think about this graph.

[Woody]

You are very good Grace.

Your photography is excelent and your portfolio broad. I can tell by your reponses to photos in the critique section that you do think deeply about the image and give constructive and insightful comment. If you transpose this into your work you will excell, no doubt.

Cheers,

John W

[graciousness]

Oh my goodness, you guys are making me blush. I didn't expect compliments really but I'm feeling loved right now.

What makes it great is that you guys are photographers and not family and friends who are not obligated to give me sugary feedback. There are some I consider my online friends and you know who you are.....but I love you guys for not giving me cut me any slack when I don't deserve to get any.

So Doug, according to that graph, I'm going to be in the "I suck" timeline for a while. It's a good thing, really, as I can't stand over confidence. I want to keep sucking so I can keep growing.

Ohhhhhh dear...........that didn't sound very........decent..........gutter brain clicking in......

[SwissJon]

I think the last paragraph of Tzetsin's first post is an important thing to note:

Now all this isnt to say that you shouldn't make money where you can... its good experience and if your not happy with the results your getting, more experience is exactly what you need. No point in doing it for free, so just keep doing what your doing. If its not costing you more to do it, then your not loosing anything.

Make a little money by going to shows, putting on exhibitions, selling to postcard and calendar manufacturers, stock photography etc.

It will cost you very little to do this, and while you do it, you'll find out a lot about yourself.. About how good you actually are. You'll get an idea about your abilities to market yourself and so on.. It's all very well being good at photography. If you're like me and aren't considering earning any money (yet) then it's just a bit of fun. But if you have no self confidence then you'll never make it in a very competative market. So try out your abilities to sell stuff before you outlay into business.