Family assistants =/

[praline3001]

I am not sure if its me or just my family or if this happens to everyone but when working on your photography do you get overly frustrated with your family assistant or do they get frustrated with you?

My hubby and I grew up together in a small town. We went to the same church as kids and have always been best friends. We were high school sweethearts. After almost 20 years of marriage I can count on 1 hand the number of big arguments we have had. Tonight I could have EASILY wrapped my hands around his throat and squeezed LOL

I know this is a new camera and my first time using a DSLR so I am not completely comfortable with it like I am with my G10. I also have been house bound for 11 days now due to pneumonia. These things are certainly not helping my frustration level. At the same time I kind of expect a 40 year old man with a college degree to know his right from his left He says I am not communicating to him what I want him to do and I say he just isn't listening to me. He gets frustrated that it takes me 20 minutes to set up a shot and doesn't see why I can't just click away like folks on TV do

He knows ZERO about photography and this doesn't help. He hates being a grunt but since I lost him at small f stop= large apature=small focus area the only job he is qualified for his grunt lol

I would be willing to put the blame at his feet but the same thing happens when my kids try and help. I have a 17,15 and 11 year old kids so they are old enough to help ..you would think! I have had my tripod knocked over, my flash dropped and oh yeah it seems they don't teach right and left in high school anymore either

I am never one to lose my temper. I am always very calm and easy going so I am not sure why my camera has become a war zone in my house!

Am I the only one that experiences this? How do you keep the peace with family assistants?

[autofocus]

Well Brook, I married a photographer, and that still does not always help. She, very patient when shooting...me, not so. Me, much more technical than she...she more creative. So you can see how those two qualities don't always play well together. I guess by now, I'm getting used to her dirty looks..lol

[praline3001]

I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.
Here is a good example as to why I could have ripped his head off tonight.

I have been reading a lot on the Strobist website. I really liked the instructions about using plants to cast shadows in the background for added interest.

I have these large dried bamboo sticks and assorted dry flowers. I am sure most ladies know what I am talking about. I took forever trying to get these sticks to throw their shadow across the wall just right. I played with them, begged them and pleaded... finally after careful movements I got the exact effect I was looking for, WOOT!

I go in the other room to get the lens I wanted to use for the shot. When I come back my hubby is standing there, all smiles. He was so proud of himself that he noticed this shadow on the wall and moved the sticks so I wouldn't get a shadow in my photo. When I closed my eyes and gave out a very frustrated groan I got, "What?! I was only trying to help!" I had to keep reminding myself to take deep breaths

[Bruce A]

I just can't understand why you can't just click away like the folks on tv do

Okay getting serious - why not just turn the tables on them with their interests. Bag the heck out of them. Forget this two wrongs don't make a right, it's poppycock

Ask them why they can't be more supportive of what you are trying to accomplish. Show them images from great photographers, show them where it suggests in photography books and forums (DPS) what it takes to get THE shot.

Tell them to make their own damn dinner!

[Doug Sundseth]

There's darned near nothing as tedious as being a photographer's assistant.

"Would you please haul in all the gear while I stand here staring thoughtfully at the room?"

"Please turn that big softbox a skosh to the left. No, camera left. Hmm, better make that 2-1/2 skoshes. Now lower it a hair and feather it up just a bit."

"We need lunch; could you please take everybody's order and run to the deli?"

"Stand back in the corner and let me know if the background lights don't fire."


It can be useful if you're interested in photography, but it isn't much fun. And if you're not interested ....

ps. I hope the assistant I'm planning on working with in two weeks isn't reading this.

[praline3001]

Bruce,

They are very supportive ~ thats kind of the problem LOL
They want to help so much and more often then not cause more problems for me.
Then I end up getting the guilt "Heck, I was just trying to help! You don't need to bite my head off!"

Family is really important to me ..and the rest of my house. We do try and spend family time together and support each other in whatever we are doing. In our house things are usually a team effort.

I am reluctant to bench the rest of the team but for my sanity and my marriage I might end up doing just that

[Bruce A]

Great attitude - I was only being facetious - sort of.

Okay then - try the reward sytem. For putting up with you they get . . . . in return

[praline3001]

Doug, ~ I have seen your photographs ... I will be your assistant any day and I know my right from my left

Okay then - try the reward sytem. For putting up with you they get . . . . in return

(carefully hides this statement from hubby) I can hear his smile from ear to ear on that statement

[autofocus]

Brook, it's really hard to be supported by someone when they, themselves, have absolutely no interest in the subject. Why not buddy up with a friend who shares your interest in photography and work and learn together by doing some photography projects. Believe me, having a second person with you is invaluable. Sharing ideas about posing, taking advantage of best use of available light, learning how to control your light, how to best use a reflector, off camera flash, brain storming about new and good locations, are just a few benefits of doing this. It can also go beyond your time working together in the field by discussing post processing, printing options, showing, and if so desired, marketing your work. Irrespective of what I said above I feel very fortunate (and I know my wife feels the same way) to be able to share our interest in photography both in our business and in our non-business photo sessions. Do we lock horns from time to time...you bet, but it's all part of the ongoing learning process.

[Doug Sundseth]

Originally Posted by praline3001

Doug, ~ I have seen your photographs ... I will be your assistant any day and I know my right from my left

You might know your right from your left, but it's not entirely clear that I do, either as an assistant or as a photographer.

From my experience, the first few times you work in a particular team arrangement, it's moderately painful. You have to be very explicit as the photographer and ask very clear questions as the assistant. After a while, the shorthand develops and everything gets much easier.

(And thank you for the kind words.)