My Thursday Rant

[faeriegodess612]

OK,.a lil back story/information first.

As most of you know, I'm now 5 weeks pregnant. This is when things start to get not so fun. All those early pregnancy symptoms that we've all heard about are starting to kick in. So, today, when I woke up, I had a fun lil bought of morning sickness. I ate, lazed on the couch and then came upstairs to my computer. As I was sitting here, I got light headed and nauseous again. I know that nibbling on saltines is supposed to help, but I dont have any. So, seeing as I felt sick, and hadnt even showered yet because of that fact, I texted a friend (We'll call her "K") to see if she could do me a favor and go to the store for me. ( I'd really hate to puke in the middle of Wal-Mart. ) Well, I don't know if K's service provider hates mine, or shes ignoring me, but she still has not texted back. I told her I'd pay for them and give her gas money for her trouble.

So, I texted another friend. (We'll call her "R") This is what really kinda irritates me. Maybe I have no right to be annoyed, idk. So, I text R with "Hey, I know you were at the eye docs, if your still there could u do me a huge favor when u leave?" So, she texts me back with "Sorry, I'm already gone and headed to Austin with "S" to pick up something for her hubby. What was it you needed?" First off, why do people ask that? If you cant help me, why do you need to know? Pet peeve of mine, just over look that. Now, to anyone on the outside, that would seem nothing to be annoyed about. She simply couldnt. No big, right?

What you dont know is how much that R has been up S's ass lately, and has completely put me on the back burner. This is the one chick that I'm closest to here. Ever since our husbands left for Iraq, we spent a lot of time together. She got a job, and we saw a lil less of eachother. Understandable. She took care of the cats, mail, and putting some bills in the mail for me while we were gone home on R&R. I took her out to dinner at Olive Garden as a Thank You after Hubby went back. Now, before all this, R, S, S's toddler, and I all went out to eat one night. This was the first time that R had met S's toddler. R LOVES kids. Ever since then, I've been left in the dust. She was spending her days off with S, and I wouldnt even know when they were. R has since quit her job, and so has S. So now, I see all these things about her being with S all the time on FB, and such. While I sit at home spending more time with the critters than people. Yesterday, R and I went to the movies. And while she was there in person, she didnt really seem THERE, if that makes sense. Usually when we go do something, we'll find something else to do afterwards, just to pass the time. I was thinking of getting something to eat, but before I could say anything, she goes, "Well, I'll call you later." I knew full well that that wasnt gonna happen. She never calls me. She told me later on FB that she didnt mean to rush off, but her cousin had texted her something about a family member and she wanted to find out what it was all about. Um, you couldnt have just excused yourself and found out what it was? You had to go home for that? I completely got the feeling of being ditched.

Maybe I'm just jealous, idk. But I feel so alone. I dont have any family here. Only those two friends. My husband comes home in a week and a half, and I'm really happy to have him back, but that doesnt help me right now. I dont even get to talk to him like I used to because they moved to a new base and the internet there is for shit. And it hurts to be put on the back burner by one of my closest friends. Especially at a time when I really could use a friend.

Idk,..maybe I'm being selfish. And I dont think or feel as if anyone owes me anything because I'm pregnant. And any time someone does something for me, I always do something as a Thank You. If its buying lunch/dinner or a small gift that I know theyd like.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading all that.

[BuddhaPi]

well I made it all the way through! You have all of us, sure we might not be able to bring you saltines ( the commute would suck big time) but we're here for ya nonetheless!....there's nothing wrong with telling R & S how you feel, at least your side of the street is clean and the ball is in their court..

[scootermcq]

I will be there in 36 hours..... now the money for the gas is gonna kill ya, but......

[Ambrosia76]

I have been in that situation before and it sucks. I also had one friend that I was constantly doing stuff for but she could never return the favor. At first I was thinking maybe your friend is jealous that you are pregnant, but if she is hanging with the other friend that has a kid that seems unlikely. Maybe you could check around and see if there is like an expectant mothers group or something and make some new friends.

I would go buy you some saltines but it will probably take about a week to mail them there. I don't mind if you can wait that long.

As we get older and go through different milestones in life (pregnancy is a big one), life changes, our needs change and we often have to find different things or people to meet those needs and leave others behind.

When I married my hubby I was 17, I had never been much of a party girl anyway, and now I was settling down with a husband and 3 kids, most of my friends who were 18-20, didn't really get it, therefore I had to move on and find friends who did.Even my best friend who stuck around a while and had 3 kids of her own, didn't really get why I wouldn't just dump my kids on anybody like she did to go out and have a good time, it wasn't who I was.

[NgaiHill]

Throw out the welcome mat for the Hormone Fairy for she has arrived! Actually maybe a bit early for that yet but having been through two pregnancies I know how you feel.
I've not long moved to a new town and I have two close friends who live nearby. One, we've been friends since primary school, the other for about 12 years. Its school holidays at the moment & I'm stuck at home with the kids. The other day I read on FB what a great time my 2 friends had in town together, shopping etc. My first thought was "why didn't they invite me?" Mainly because they are not obliged to & maybe it was something they organised at the last minute.
One thing I've learnt over the years is that friendships shift over time, you may find that in a few months or so R starts spending more time with you again, or you start spending more time with S. Not much of a help at the moment but things will change.
As for the morning sickness - do you find that you feel nauseous just thinking about trying to eat something? When I was pregnant with my son (my youngest) I would dry retch just thinking about making breakfast, even just toast. A friend suggested I tried drinking my breakfast instead. I had a thickshake type of thing called Complan. It was a powder that you mixed with milk or water & had all the goodies, vitamins etc that you need - not specifically a pregnancy drink. I could add fruit & the occasional egg to it to make a smoothy, it kept me going til lunchtime & didn't make me feel as sick as solid food. Do you have anything like that in the US? Must have somewhere in the supermarket, maybe it would help your morning sickness.

[Krusty79]

Any old friends back in TN that you still talk to?

[mosgood]

Hi FG, tough situation to find yourself in for sure...nauseated & not wanting to do anything or go anywhere. That sucks! I've had 2 daughters. The first pregnancy, I could eat most anything but chicken or fish (staples in my diet normally) didn't agree with me. But seeing other people eat stuff like chili or burritos laden with sauce & cheese used to turn my stomach so much so that I couldn't eat much. For my 2nd pregnancy, I was "blessed" with morning sickness that plagued me 24/7 from the beginning until after I gave birth. I could only eat fruits & veggies, or grain based products. My OB was less than happy because he thought I was deliberately dieting. I'd see so much as a billboard or TV commercial with a burger on it, & I thought I would throw up. It was a fun time! Not! Pretzels were a staple for me...not a big fan of Saltiines. LOL Btw, both my kids turned out ok. Cravings or food aversions are pretty normal, as are the lovely mood swings that go with being pregnant.

Don't know what advice to give you as far as your friends situation. I've always been more of a loner, & what few female friends I've had, they never last for long (on to better things I guess). Maybe it's just a phase in your friendship & things will swing back to normal eventually. However, you might need to cultivate some other friendships in the meantime. Couldn't hurt. I'm sure there are some other pregnant women in your area....maybe start there? Strike up conversations while at your OB appointments.

Best of luck to you & hope things turn around soon & you don't feel so lonely.

[PixSixSix]

I can't offer any consolation about the morning sickness but I do know how you feel about the friend situation. I find that girl friends (as opposed to guy friends) are hard to make initially and they're often a lot of work to keep up.

I'm in an all girl band and when two or three of the members get together to go shopping or go for coffee someone always ends up feeling left out but its always one of those spontaneous things and never "oh lets go and not invite such and such"

I recently watched two other friends go through the strangest thing (albeit their situation turned out much worse) They had spent so much time together one summer, real Best Friends Forever , but when one friend had her priorities change the other got hurt or maybe even jealous . Their fight about not spending enough time together "broke them up" permanently and now they're not on speaking terms. Chicks... I just don't get em.

If you're needing support and not getting it from the girl friends in your home town, I agree with Ambrosia about finding an expectant mothers group or like.. one of those prenatal exercise yoga dealies. Plus, there's all of us on the internets when you need a good rant! <3

[SwissJon]

Sorry, you're a bit far for me to come and do your groceries for you, but if you PM me a postal address, I'll send you a Toblerone!

[Bruce A]

This sounds like secret women's business to me however - you're pregnant, alone, missing husband, morning sickness and your friends are deserting you. Okay you need affirmative action: why not organise a lunch date with said friends at a time and place that will suit each of them (no excuses then) and see how it goes. Could it be that you might just be exaggerating things a bit because you're down in the doldrums?