Are we too precious?

[Sime]

This was a question I got via support [name witheld]

Message:
Hello, I am not a professional photographer, I do however photograph weddings and other events. Recently, I have noticed a trend while photographing weddings that really disturbs me. One, their always seems to be someone at a wedding or event who heckles me. I'm not sure why? I've been told "you missed it!", or random rude remarks. I've also had people (men) who will "flirt' and this is so inappropriate! I am a married mother of 3 children and by no means am I doing or saying anything to provoke this. Two, other camera's going off when I've lined up a shot and taken the time to find the the right background and lighting. I request in my contracts no other camera's, but unfortunately it happens every time. Three, (and the list could surely go on...) people who try to stand in the prime positions for photographs, where the photographer should be and has every right to be standing. I am frustrated, and it takes away from the joy I have felt behind my camera every time one of
these incidents occur. Please help! What should I do without turning the entire wedding party against me?....One more complaint/concern- When photographing a wedding with a bride and groom who are not nice people, and are clearly more nervous and focused on everything being "perfect', how does a photographer who is told by the bride she wants more "fun" shots go about making people look like they're having fun? I am frustrated, and have considered not photographing weddings anymore. Thanks for your time, and letting this amateur photographer vent a little!

This was my reply

You know - I'd say (and you'll punch me, I'm sure!) relax a little.

1. If you're photographing wedding and people are being stupid, who cares? let them! You focus on what you're doing and get that shot... and if men flirt with you, you should be shooting anyway - focus on what you're doing, ignore the idiots.

2. It's a wedding - people are there to celebrate the person's wedding, typically they are friends with that person that is getting married - they are going to want their own shots... suck it up - that's life! You need to make sure, as a professional that's being paid, that you get your shots - but don't worry about other people taking photos, so what? who cares? you're paid to take yours - you're going to get paid regardless of aunty may and her kodak instax photos being posted on the web... I used to care, I'd get so wound up, I'd hate shooting - really, why? it doesn't matter... just do your job.

3. command the photos - don't be forceful, but have a plan, inform the bride of that plan, guide her / him... they're getting married - they're most likely excited and nervous and don't want to think about the shots - you make them fun by making them less stressed... you make them fun by not being stressed about points one and two.... relax, breathe, know your camera and enjoy yourself a little...

most of all... remember, it's their day - not yours.

Have fun!

Simon

Simon Pollock
dPS Customer Service & Coffee Drinker

...and this was the person's reply back

~THANK YOU~ You are right. Everything you wrote was so helpful. I really appreciate your time !

....What's your opinion?

[OsmosisStudios]

Stop being such a wuss.

[Jim Bryant]

I agree with Simon. Also put a clause your contract stating that flash photography from other photographers is not permitted until you have gotten your required shots.

[SwissJon]

Ok, so you guys have a job to do, and it's difficult, but that's your chosen job.. If you don't like people, become a landscape photographer.

I agree with Sime, especially point 2..

And as far as flirting goes, jeez, what makes you so special? The guys that are flirting with you are probably also flirting with the waitresses and so on.. It's part of life.. Men can be jerks, but if your going to work with the public, you need to deal with that.

[sk66]

I have contracts, I'm getting paid, and I want to be treated professionally. But I'm not a professional.......

Um, yes you are. Own it or get out.

[SwissJon]

Originally Posted by sk66

I have contracts, I'm getting paid, and I want to be treated professionally. But I'm not a professional.......

Um, yes you are. Own it or get out.

Lol... Well said..

[Phoenix_Jackson]

I apologize for inserting a different notion to the current topic. But the title reminded me of some situations that relate to it.

Attending some occasions in the past (way way back then), people can be rude. Where there's either an assistant or the photographer himself/herself go around barking at people to "move there," "go away," "don't you dare touch that chair," etc. It takes a bit of the fun out of the said day. A lot of the same people can't even help themselves but to be on the spotlight, just as good as having a poster saying, "Look at me, I'm taking pictures... with strobes!" stuck on his/her back. All of these because he/she is "the official photographer".

Now that I have my own gear, it makes me reminisce of those photographers from time to time. Since I'm about to call myself a photographer, and looking back, it makes me wonder: Are we really that precious?

[UlpilotSC]

Originally Posted by Jim Bryant

I agree with Simon. Also put a clause your contract stating that flash photography from other photographers is not permitted until you have gotten your required shots.

So.... How do you enforce this?
Uncle bob starts taking flash pictures while you are lining up your shots. You tell uncle bob, "sorry, you have to stop that, my contract prohibits your flash until I'm done."

Uncle bob replies, "quiet you hack, I didn't sign any contract, I can do what I want."

Since you can't enforce the contract on third parties, is this just a "cover your ass" clause you can bring up later? "Yes bridezilla I know your family looks all squinty-eyed, it's thanks to uncle bob and the paparazzi."

[OsmosisStudios]

Originally Posted by UlpilotSC

So.... How do you enforce this?
Uncle bob starts taking flash pictures while you are lining up your shots. You tell uncle bob, "sorry, you have to stop that, my contract prohibits your flash until I'm done."

Uncle bob replies, "quiet you hack, I didn't sign any contract, I can do what I want."

Since you can't enforce the contract on third parties, is this just a "cover your ass" clause you can bring up later? "Yes bridezilla I know your family looks all squinty-eyed, it's thanks to uncle bob and the paparazzi."

You have the bride/groom to ask their guests to please wait until after you're done. Failing that, you, as a photographer, schedule the formal shots when the guests arent there (usually between ceremony and reception). Thats why the bride/groom always disappear after the ceremony: it's not for a quickie in the limo, it's so that they can meet their photographer somewhere for their formal shots, usually.

[autofocus]

Just telling the OP to tough it out is not the answer. You will find these issues at every wedding, and having a well thought out plan of action will be your best defense. Just a note on this that every wedding will be different, so scoping out the site in advance will help you in developing your plan. Timing, and location of your shots is key. The best time to do your key shots of the B&G undisturbed is during the cocktail hour when most of the guests are preoccupied. Also a good time to grab the wedding party and other important family members. Much, much harder to do these folks after the cocktail hour especially if they've had 4 martinis under their belt. Find a location that is removed from the main area for these key shots. So, if the reception is in the back yard, quietly remove the subjects to some other remote area of the property...kind of stealth. Try to have one person / guest at the wedding who will be assigned to be the one who knows all the folks to be photographed, and let him/her quietly gather these people up for you. In all the confusion, you don't want to miss grandma, or aunt Fifi. The trick is to quickly and quietly go under the radar as best as possible. As far as the rest of the shots, you'll have to work the crowd as best as possible..always best to be firm, but tactful.