Muse: do they really exist?

[Phoenix_Jackson]

Warning: A long read.

I just wanted to share my story and perhaps someone to validate my conclusion. Forgive me for being too wordy.

Lenses to use, settings, learn about lights and shadows, learn about strobes and those flashes, buy those lenses, buy those strobes and what not, practice practice practice, learn about post-processing especially fixing skin tones and the likes of it, learn how to communicate with models (aka people), learn how choose them rightly as subjects, learn how to... OMG I'm dead already!

There's always a reason why portrait shots scare me a lot. From where I stand, it's the most money-making one but I find it requiring a heck of a lot before even taking your first shutter click. Besides, I'm not really a fan of actual living, moving, people. So I avoid these kinds of photography.

But my fear of it was a little bit overtaken by my curiosity of a cosplay held nearby (I was an anime fan before), and that's why I asked for some tips here.

Surrounded by colorful characters along with strange people and photographers with intimidating gears, terribly hot and humid weather with super cloudy skies, shortage of knowledge and confidence in shooting, and shortage of money, I was already feeling down to start the day. Then top that when I got scolded by taking a picture of what I thought was a cosplay participant. Apparently, she just wears really heavy make-up on normal days.

So I sat outside the convention center making a rant video with my cell phone for some minutes, trying to just let my frustrations out. One lady character in red suddenly walked in front of me, gave me a seductive "come over here" gesture, and just went on posing. Like movement posing I often see in NTM shows.

I felt like EVERYTHING negative I was feeling that day was totally gone and my mind just went to photography mode. It's like those feeling when I pass by a landscape so beautiful that I just had to stop and take a shot. It's just like that feeling. I took a lot of shots of her not minding how many clicks. Nothing else come to mind except, "OMG" click, "Wow" click, "OMG" click, "oh... oh.... oh..." click click click. It's different when I see a landscape 'cause I go "OMG" but have to think and rethink all the advises I'm given, together with carefully setting up my gear. With her, I don't know. I feel like I was just sucked into something good. From that time on to the rest of the day, I got really brave and started taking pictures of everyone else. And for some reason, no one's scolding at me. I guess confidence makes a difference.

I can't get my mind off that experience though. Looking at her frames, it made me wonder: was she a muse? Is this what others feel when they shoot portraits? Or did someone just put some strange pill in my water?

I never wanted to call myself a "photographer" and even sparely use the word "photography". I don't have the confidence doing so (that's why I almost always take night shots where no one can see me). But at that time where I was in the zone, I felt good enough to call myself a photographer.

Thank you for taking time reading this. But what do you guys think? Is this just a normal day-to-day thing to you? Is there really a muse? My pictures weren't that good but it's that feeling that made me want to work even harder for this hobby (currently staring at portrait shots now). And honestly wish I'd see that girl again when I earn a lot better skills.

[Dodge]

To me, a muse is someone that you develop an infatuation for and have a desire to study and photograph again and again, endeavoring to capture the perfect images that not only exhibit the perfect outer beauty that you see, but also the inner beauty and the persons soul. To the point that it can become an obsession, but in a good way as a relationship between the two people develops, both emotionally and professionally, not necessarily romantically. I believe it is a very special bond that very few truly experience. Of course, it also has to be consensual, otherwise it is just stalking and creepy .

Great story BTW. Maybe she saw you getting hassle earlier and saw you looking downtrodden so decided to cheer you up some? Either way, she changed your experience for the better and clearly made a positive difference to your outlook and gave you the confidence boost you needed just at the right time. A very vivid moment that you may remember for the rest of your life, the encounter with her is probably much more significant than the pictures you took.

[mosgood]

Awesome experience! I don't know if she was your muse, but she certainly took what was a negative experience & put a positive spin on it. :-) I don't think it matters how you view it. She lifted your spirits. I think that's the important part.

[Phoenix_Jackson]

Wow! People actually read long-winded posts. Thank you for taking your time and sharing your opinions.
Indeed, what she gave me was the most significant. Perhaps she did saw me being pathetic that day. Regardless, I'm still glad she was there. She may not be a muse then, but to me, she's an angel. I wish there are many people like that. It makes taking pictures way way way more fun.

[RLucas]

I read them when they are interesting. This was interesting! I really don't know how to answer your question any better than Dodge and Mosgood did, but I am glad you got to feel the feeling. I would say you were probably in the zone more than anything else. I have experienced it in other facets of my life, but have yet to experience it with photography. The trick is learning how to keep that feeling as long as you can. Let that in itself be your muse.