I feel like I've cheated.....

[graciousness]

I went to a kid's birthday party last Sunday and I used P-mode

I had been using AV mode for 3 months and so far, I felt great about that. But they are on shots that weren't candid (architecture, macro, etc) and so I would have more time to set up my camera on this mode. I've even played around with manual and even though the shots were not great (completely experimental night time shots playing with shutter on bulb), it felt good using these modes.

However, when I found myself in another friend's kid's birthday party (just as a guest) as usual, I bring my camera and my friends are all too happy that I did. I started using AV, but then found myself taking more time setting up the camera than taking shots. You see, kids are just all over the place and they are constantly on the move. If you blink, you miss an opportunity. After much frustration and realising that I'm still not at that point where I can use AV comfortably where the basics are just ingrained in my head, I put my camera on P and used it for the rest of the party.

I did about 120 shots in 2 hours.

I've finished editing the photos and found that 90 of those shots are actually quite presentable, to the point of good. I've managed to capture the kids all in their happy, natural, active elements and I felt ok after the editing work and forgave myself a little bit. I realised that it was more important to capture those moments regardless of what mode than stroking my ego with pursuing shooting in AV or manual modes.

If I'd done 90 good to great shots out of 120, then I can't say that I've shot only using luck. I concentrated on eyeing for those moments that would highlight the activities and fun of the party. I have the goods, I have the eye, but.........

...but then I can't help feeling that I've cheated and I wish the feeling would go away. It's making me almost cry. My brain takes so long processing the technicality of photography.

I feel like I'm always going to be a novice forever. I just want to be better.

All these dedicated hours of reading and shooting and practicing. For what???. Oly to use P mode again in the end.

[IABoomer]

Do the learning now. Take those keeper images, analyze the specs and think about why the camera did what it did. Think about what you'd like to change, if anything, in a particular shot and consider what aspect of the exposure triangle you'd adjust to make that change.

If I had to guess, I'd say there are quite a few similarities to the images' technical details, enough that you could probably have a decent starting point for a manual setting and make little adjustments from there.

I shot some running pictures for my sister-in-law this past weekend. As we went from one point on the route to another, I checked my previous batch of images and looked for things I might want to adjust at the next stop. Granted, you might not have those same 5-10 minute breaks in a kid's party, but a minute or two away from the action might be enough to pause and reflect on how you're shooting.

[faeriegodess612]

To add to Boomer's post,...

Let me tell ya something too,...those Modes on your camera, they're there for a reason. Otherwise, why would they even waste the time and programming to put them there. The photographer that I work for is mainly doing sports teams currently, and when we went to a shoot on Saturday, he used the Sports Mode on his camera for the action shots. So don't feel like your cheating, those Modes are there for situations like that, where you don't have time to make the adjustments for every shot. If it gets the shot, then you've done your job.

[AnonymousKiwi1]

Man, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Unless you took up photography to punish yourself, just go with what you have to do. Have fun, enjoy the results. Your friend now has 90 great shots to remember the party by, and that's what counts. They don't care that you were running fully auto.

Take you time. Maybe set up a time with your friend and kids to practice when it's just a play date. That way you can take those moments to check you settings and shots, as Boomer said. Learn with each batch of shots, you'll get there.

[nickbedford]

You WHAT?!

[vsa]

Next time pick only the best 30 of those photos and you'll look like a better photographer already. :P

But seriously.. Just keep using them different modes and the confidence to use them will come with time.

[RichardTaylor]

At the end of the day it doesn't really matter how you capture the photographs.
Just so long as you capture them.

Do you ever see, in National Geographic magazine, info on shooting modes and camera gear etc. No - you just see a credit for the photographer.

[BigFuzzy]

Originally Posted by RichardTaylor

At the end of the day it doesn't really matter how you capture the photographs.
Just so long as you capture them.

Do you ever see, in National Geographic magazine, info on shooting modes and camera gear etc. No - you just see a credit for the photographer.

+1
This exactly.

[graciousness]

Thank you, everyone. Really, for taking the time to read and reply. I just need some encouragement, I guess, to say that it's ok.

If I was being paid for what I've done, I guess what's important is to keep your clients happy. Yes, you're right, they don't care what mode you've shot, they only care about the end results, which are the photos.

For months, my friends have been wanting me to take photos of their family and I hesitated because I thought I wasn't ready and good enough. Given the opportunity for outside, natural lighting, sure. But indoors or in the dark, I'm just not ready. I just have this great fear of flash set ups and more technical settings I will need to know.

It's great to make them happy. But I was hoping that I would walk away from photo ops with a bit more satisfaction. To take the photos for myself, I guess. I was so discontent and unhappy after the shooting because I didn't have control of the camera. It did the work for me, aside from me composing the shots, etc.

I want to be a skilful photographer, not just a candid one. I guess I need more patience and persistence. And a bit more kindness towards myself.

[NicoleScraps]

I am going to tell you a secret...not my secret so I cannot name names....I know of a lady who has ran a very successful family/portrait photography business for the last 5 years. She uses Auto. All the time. And her pics are stunning.
Let the guilt go....It's okay.