Why Do We Need To Have "THICK SKIN" Here?

[fofazoju]

So I don't go onto many internet forums - and I think I am starting to understand this deep dark world (semi-sarcasm here) and probably won't venture into many more.

I see a lot of posts that have the phrase "you gotta have a thick skin in here!". When did we decide that, in order to be frank, we need to be harsh and cruel. Of course, I am not speaking of every single post and there are a LOT of very informative people here. But there have been some posts I have read where I am like "wow, what a jerk". People say "oh its the internet, relax!" which is such a cop out. The internet is still a means of communicating ideas, thoughts etc., and the means of how these thoughts are transferred shouldn't matter at ALL. But alas, I know it does in some peoples minds.

This forum is called "Digital Photography SCHOOL". I wouldn't dream of going into a real school and have some of the other people in the community treat me like some do here. I've seen full out snotty attitudes when it comes to a newbie wanting to learn how to be a photographer. I get it - they just get their camera and want to start shooting their first wedding that weekend. And I also get the "we aren't your family, we aren't gonna tell you you are good when your not" attitude - but at the same time, a point can be made without sounding crass, judgmental and flat out rude. No one here is expecting to come here and be told how incredibly talented they are; most come for advice. Advice is constructive, well it is supposed to be. More often than not, when someone comes here looking to start a business, they don't simply get told the steps needed - it is often painted with a negative brush..."wow and YOU want to start CHARGING people!???". Whether we like it or not, there is a market for people wanting to pay $50 for a disc of 125 unedited crappy images. Its the Walmart of photography.

On the same hand, I do agree that some people can be too sensitive, but we do not know what hurdles they have come across in life, and what point does it serve to be rude to them? I will almost bet that the people who are harsh here wouldn't dare be harsh to them face-to-face. This is the problem with internet forums - we forget that on the other end is a real person. I hate it when I see teen bullying, and I hate it when I see adults ACTING like teen bully's. I think we all need to remember that we are ALL learning here, no matter our expertise level. So now everyone join hands and sing Kumbaya!!!

Anyway, thanks for reading - just wanted to rant a bit. Im not expecting things to change :P

[BuddhaPi]

Ohhh Eric???? where are you?????

[Niresangwa]

Originally Posted by fofazoju

No one here is expecting to come here and be told how incredibly talented they are; most come for advice. Advice is constructive, well it is supposed to be.

There's your problem, right there. To get to the point you're ready to make money out of your work, you obviously have a pretty high personal opinion of it. When someone points out the (usually many) issues, it's offensive, no matter how nicely you frame it.

Almost all of the advice I see given here is constructive, it's just not what people want to hear.

The 'Thick Skin' is pretty much essential, otherwise your sensitivity creates bias and raises the probability you'll reject the advice, "He's obviously a jerk for being mean, so I won't listen to him".

Personally I like the fact that the internet forum is one of the last places you can find an honest opinion.

[Krusty79]

Originally Posted by BuddhaPi

Ohhh Eric???? where are you?????

BuddhaPi,

You've had some great ones lately, especially the a-hole with the camera one!


fofazoju - I think you'll find the sarcasm mostly comes from a few members who post frequently, so it may seem like there are a lot of them. In their defense, the "newbie who wants to start charging" posts appear regularly and they are probably a bit jaded with those posts (although like you said, this is supposed to be an educational site).

[IABoomer]

You can't imagine people with snotty attitudes in a real school? Were you home schooled? There are countless TV shows, movies, and books about how snotty and elitist students can be toward each other.

Granted, some people hide behind the semi-anonymity the Internet provides and act like bigger jerks than they do in real life. On the other side, there are plenty of people who show up in a community like this one, spend zero time figuring out the basic tone of the community, spend zero time searching for answers to their commonly asked question, and get butt-hurt when people snap at them and suggest they take thirty seconds to read the rules and use the search tool.

[candidrachel]

My view is its not necessarily having a thick skin its being mature enough not to take someone's arsehole comment too much to heart. If someone is really rude then I just thank my lucky stars I am not married to him

[zona5101]

I think IA Boomer is right on target...seems at least recently, the ones who get all butt hurt cause they're told to post their exif data or are told to use the search engine or whatever other thing ruffles their feathers, are all FNGs. Maybe if they spent some time here before trying to change things, they'd get to know the personalities and actually make some very nice cyber friends and learn and share together.

[milosh]

Originally Posted by IABoomer

Granted, some people hide behind the semi-anonymity the Internet provides and act like bigger jerks than they do in real life. On the other side, there are plenty of people who show up in a community like this one, spend zero time figuring out the basic tone of the community, spend zero time searching for answers to their commonly asked question, and get butt-hurt when people snap at them and suggest they take thirty seconds to read the rules and use the search tool.

This is so true!

Originally Posted by BuddhaPi

Ohhh Eric???? where are you?????

Oh I'm here, just you wait bucko!!

Seriously, if the OP really thinks this is going to change squat then they truly are as naive as they seem.

I love the line "THIS IS A SCHOOL!!! WAAAHHH!!".... If I were paid to give my thoughts and criticisms, they certainly would look different but have the EXACT same feel. Different words to make the landing seem a bit more palatable, but the meaning and origins would be exactly the same.

I'm not here to coddle anyone or hold anyone's hand, so lets be big boys and girls and put on our big-boy/girl pants.

You want me to hold your hand through the process? Pay me. I'll do it, I promise. I'll grit my teeth at the horrid images you create and critique each one with a fine toothed comb to really pull out the finer details to really help you along in the process. I will spoon feed you with mathematical precision on how to be a great photographer, I will show you what to buy and how to use it properly and answer EVERY little pithy question that pops into your brain at any given second that you feel HAS to be answered immediately or all hell will break loose....


.... Or I could just give it to your straight, save us both a sh*tload of time and go on with my day.

Your choice.

~Eric

[dakwegmo]

I take it to mean that you can't take comments about your work personally. If someone tears apart a photo you post, you have to understand it's a reflection of the image you posted and not on you as a person. Once you're able to make that distinction, and evaluate the merits of such criticism the quality of your work will grow immensely.

Something else to remember is that this is an international "school". What's considered rude in one culture may be perfectly acceptable behavior in another. Yes there are some jerks here, but even they will be quite helpful if you learn what the shared culture of this site is and come in with an attitude of being here to learn something from others.