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Pro photographers make the best lovers because: Their equipment is so big they often need a tripod just to hold it up (continued in 1st comment)
They'll bring a smile to your face... They're known for doing lots of babies, often even 2 or 3 at a time... They shoot more than once... They don't mind going deep into a bush to get the shot... You'll be dazzled by their flash... They'll do you no matter what your age or how you look... They can even do it with your clothes on... They love to do it anywhere and any time (even in a crowd...) They don't mind spectators... ================================= The Browns were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, Roger, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam, I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain, I've been expecting you," Mrs Brown cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well good! I've made a specialty of babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometime the living room floor is fun too... you can really spread out!!" "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, my, that's a lot of..." gasped Mrs Brown. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know it," Mrs Brown muttered. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on top of a bus." "Oh my gawd!!" Mrs Brown exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs Brown. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs Brown, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes" the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling, I could hardly concentrate!! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Brown leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your um....equipment?" "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod??" "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!!!"
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Equipment: Canon EOS Rebel XS, 18-55mm, 50mm prime, 55-250mm. Software used for PP: Photoshop CS5 Join Dropbox and get 2GB free online storage space to share files between computers, tablets, smart phones, etc. http://db.tt/X4pirer |
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Hahahaha...those are funny. However, with a pro, it's the quality that counts and our clients get the quality they pay for.
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url:www.jimbryantphotography.com http://pa.photoshelter.com/c/jimbryant http://jimbryantphotography.blogspot.com/ (3) EOS1D MKIIs', (1) EOS1Ds MKII, 14mmf2.8, 16-35mmf2.8, 28-70mmf2.8, 70-200mm f2.8, 300mm f2.8 and a 400mmf2.8. |
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Ha ha ha! I've heard that story a couple of times, never fails to make me laugh!
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LISA Canon EOS 1000D, 18-55mm & 75-300 mm kit lens for the flash stuff. Olympus Tough 8010, waterproof, shockproof compact P&S - great for the kids. Flickr |
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LMAO
Did he do it in a flash? Or under an umbrella? Did he like Green Eggs and Ham?
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Please feel free to critque my pictures or entries. Canon EOS Rebel XSi, Canon EOS 20D - EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 IS Lens - EF 55-200mm f/4.5-5.6 USM II -Lens - Canon 430EX II ETTL Speedlite Full EFIX on www.flickr.com/photos/10694814@N04/ photo albums are on:www.afdfotography.smugmug.com |
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