Grrrrrrr

[faeriegodess612]

I've been in a really down mood lately. There are many reasons to why I think I'm in such a mood. I'm a military wife and my husband is off in California right now in this sort of pre-deployment training. Apparently they do it before every deployment. He's out in the middle of the Cali desert and I cant talk to him until they come back to base and they're allowed to have their cell phones back. It's killing me that I cant even talk to him. When he deploys in February I'll at least be able to talk to him while he's overseas. I haven't been here where we live in Texas very long, and I only have one real friend. Which is fine, she's great, and I'm glad shes there, but I don't want to bug the crap out of her every time I feel lonely and need a friend. Normally I'm not this needy, but I've never been this alone before. I've always had friends that I could call up and hang out with, or always had someone around.

I've had a lot of stress lately because of this. He's my support system and he's not here to be that for me. I'm trying to save for the DSLR I want so desperately, but things keep happening that I can't save. For instance,...we had a really bad storm here a week ago. This storm caused a piece of a utility pole to break off and bust out my back windshield. Now, I'm not sure if its the make,model, and year of my car that made it so difficult to find a replacement or what, but let's just say that it was a miracle that the woman at the auto glass repair place was able to find one. It took them 2 days to get it here, my car was repaired very quickly once they got it, and I'm very happy with the work and professionalism of said repair shop. BUT,... it literally drained our account for the bill. The utility company is reimbursing me for the cost of repairs, but now I have to wait on the check. Oh, by the way, this repair cost me over $400. Just for a piece of glass! ( Yes, I know lenses can cost much more than that, but theres a bit more science involved with a lens, not just some stripes that heat up to clear the fog or frost ) Now, hubby makes a good amount being a soldier, we can make it easily, with some managing of our finances. I also have my job and don't make a lot but every bit helps. I've been trying to save my own money for my DSLR, and when I had to drain the account, I've had to use my own money for everyday expenses. Normally, if things weren't going so wrong at the moment, saving would not be an issue. Just have to make sure that I didn't spend a lot on things that I didn't really need. Like books, or clothes, or eating out.

I get,.....annoyed, irritated, depressed, envious, jealous,.... give it whatever name you want,....when I come on here and see all these people that are like "Yay! Just got my first DLSR, or like with I think it was Jim, who comes out with something about picking up the exact camera I'm trying to save for like it's chump change. I can't afford a $4,000 camera, and right now I dont need something that expensive because I dont know how to properly use a DSLR yet! Thats why I'm trying to not only go cheap so I can afford it, but because I don't want to spend a whole lot just starting out. (I'm SOOOO in the same boat as everyone about people thinking that just cuz they have the big camera that they're a pro. Not saying anything against Jim, the camera he has is more geared for the type of photography he does and he's good at what he does.)

All this on top of the fact that I hate my job, and would MUCH rather prefer taking photos every day opposed to being a cashier at Lowe's.

*Deep Breath* Anywayz,.... thats sort of my rant for the time being. Thank you to anyone who actually read my rant. It kinda feels good to get all that out. I now have to leave for dreaded job so I don't lose the source of my DLSR money.

[zona5101]

Nice rant. You should feel better. Things take time, eventually you'll get to where you want to be...set your sights and move towards the goal...it will hardly ever be a straight line to get there, always zigs and zags to slow you up. As far as the dslr, pick up a used one, something to learn on, explore. When it's time to upgrade you'll already have a lot of knowledge and understanding of what it is exactly you want. hang in there. Btw, I love shopping at Lowes! Everyone at my local store is very nice

[scootermcq]

Hang tough Kiddo.....

[lputman]

I can relate to what you are saying, being an ex-sailor along with my husband who is an ex-sailor also. I've been through the being in a new place (ready to have the first baby no less) and not knowing anybody while the spouse is away at training, ironically in the California desert too. Hang tight, it will all come into place. Come and vent here all you want.

[RLucas]

Sorry you are having it rough. It sucks being in a new place, and knowing virtually no one.

Easier said than done, but try not to be jealous of others. Other people tend to have their own problems too. Some not as bad, some worse, but everyone has their own issues to deal with, so don't feel like you are alone.

At least you are doing it the right way and saving. I am now in debt up to my eyeballs over frivolous spending in my past, so it could be worse.
Keep your chin up, you'll get there!

[tuxcomputers]

Everybody has problems, they are just different from yours. You have:

1. A husband
2. A friend close by
3. A job
4. A goal
5. Your health
6. A roof over your head
7. Food to eat
8. A way to pay your bills
9. A creative outlet
10. An internet connection
11. People on this forum willing to help
12. The right to worship who and how you want
13. The freedom to express yourself
    ....

Look at what you do have not at what you don't, there's too much of it and you will depress yourself.

[NgaiHill]

You have my sympathy too. My husband has been working overseas for almost 4 years with visits home only every six months. And with two kids at home its not always easy. I guess your hardest thing at the moment is not having any person around you to whinge and/or talk to which I've found is always important. Perhaps you could ask your friend to introduce you to more people. Are you on a military base? Is there any social networks there you can hook into? What about a photography club? Hang in there, things will get better once you can talk to your hubby again.

[tuxcomputers]

Hows this for an exercise, read the list I posted, which one would you swap for a dSLR?

[NicoleScraps]

Originally Posted by RLucas

Easier said than done, but try not to be jealous of others. Other people tend to have their own problems too. Some not as bad, some worse, but everyone has their own issues to deal with, so don't feel like you are alone.

+1. This is so true. Everyone has issues, whether it be money trouble, health issues, family stuff, the list could go on forever.

I can relate to all that you said about being alone though. I sat in this house for years and did nothing but take care of babies. I didn't go out with friends or family, I just couldn't. They took up all of my life and I had nothing left to give. At the time, my husband worked out of the home as well, so he was gone a lot. I turned to the internet for grown up conversation. I found a couple of really nice forums and made friends with similar interests as me. I have been a member on another one for oh, I guess about 4 years now. There are about 40 ladies who are consistently always on there chatting. I consider them to be some of my best friends in the world. Actually, it was 11 of those ladies that I met when I went away last month, many of them, I was meeting for the first time IRL.
But regardless of all that, just remember this too will pass. Good luck and feel better.

[Izzy]

Originally Posted by tuxcomputers

Hows this for an exercise, read the list I posted, which one would you swap for a dSLR?

12 because I worship nothing Thats right I am one of those heathens.