Ever Want to Smack the Crap out of someone?

[NicoleScraps]

So I take photography pretty seriously. I have loved it for years, but back in the day of film, it was kind of expensive and I was kind of poor so I was very limited. Finally about 6 years ago, I got my first digital camera and I was really able to jump into it. I stuck with that P&S, which was a good one, had manual settings and stuff, played, learned, experimented, until the camera was holding me back. Then I got a dslr. I am trying really hard to learn and grow. I am practicing every day, reading everything that I can, going out, shooting photos etc. I have been doing a lot of practice photoshoots with people for free and it was getting to the point where it was costing me money out of pocket, so I started charging people $50. I am not in this to make a ton of money or grow a huge business right now. I just want the practice and experience. Someday, I will restructure how I do things, but not today. Honestly, I don't NEED the money, hubby does more than well enough to take care of us. I just don't want it to be costing me money and I want to do what I love. Bottom line.
So, with all of this in mind, let's get to the smacking people part. My sister, in all of our lives has never once expressed an interest in photography. I used to have to get on her for taking important photos of her kids with her cell phone when I knew that she had a decent P&S camera. When I bought my dslr, right away, she materialized with a dslr (which I don't even want to get into how she got that camera, that is another story). At first, I was like "cool, we might have something in common, maybe we can do this together." I would tell her stuff like "hey sis, I found this article/website/book that has a lot of useful info" And she would respond with "I am doing good, I don't need to know that." Huh? You don't need to know about the exposure triangle? I would invite her to go on photowalks or club meetings, Nope, she didn't want to do any of that.
She quickly turned the situation into constantly trying to 1-up me. I had a album on facebook called "experimenting with photography" she would frequently comment "what settings did you use for this?" At first I would answer her, then I stopped because, you know, go learn it yourself. I started taking photos of other people, then she started taking photos of other people. I started charging, she started charging. I created a FB page, she created a page. I asked for people who would be interested in doing a family photoshoot in the snow, then she asked the same thing. On and on and on, everything I do, she does.
Any time that I would say anything to her she would come back with "you're just jealous of me." Uh not quite. Irritated, pissed off, yes, jealous absolutely not.
The kicker for me was that I sold a photo to a magazine. It was of a local state park and the article was about that park. They approached me. I did not go looking to sell photos.
So my sister goes to that same park, took a near identical photo as the one that I sold, posted it online with a comment saying "Isn't this an amazing photo. This one should have been in that magazine, LOL" Right where all of our friends and family members can see it.
I've had enough of it. I can't offer her any assistance without her standard "you're jealoous" comeback and let me tell you, she needs it. All of her photos are slightly underexposed. Then she goes into picnik, puts a vignette and very strong soft focus on all of her photos. I mean, her originals are probably not that bad. but she is ruining all of her photos. I upgraded from PSE7 to PSE 8 and Lightroom so I offered to give her PSE 7 and teach her how to use it. She said that she is a master at editing (with picnik) and didn't need that program. I mentioned to her that maybe she should come here for critique because I was having trouble communicating with her and helping her, she always gets an attitude with me. She said "No I don't need to do that. I do what I do and I do it well." What the heck? Who says stuff like that? I guess she is above getting real honest to goodness feedback.
It has gotten so bad that I told my parents that I won't be coming to Thanksgiving because I don't want to see her. She has made me so angry that I don't think I can sit in the same room with her. She treats it like a joke and constantly copies everything that I do. My husband says it is sibling rivalry, which maybe that might be. But she is 10 years younger than me and we have NEVER had issues like this. We have never argued or bickered, ever.
Sorry this is so long, but I just needed to get it off my chest. I am so upset with her right now. I am just going to try to force myself to let it all go, ignore her, put it out of my mind and move forward, doing what I love. I don't know what else I can do.

[RecurrentNerve]

Perhaps the best thing to do is just forget it for now and leave her to her own devices. Don't post any photos online where she can see them and see how far she gets on her own. Or perhaps post a few bad pictures, then once she's done her own versions, change the album title to 'How to take terrible photographs' or similar.

[jamesev]

Why get worried by this, its evident that she has no ceativity or originality and just it trying to seek attention by finding someone to whom she can measure herself by.

Just get on with what you do photographically, be happy that you have worked hard to learn about the principles of photography etc.

After a while it will become evident to all whats going on. You have been published in a magazine, she hasn't.

Anyone can see a picture in a magazine, figure out where it is and go take the same photo and then rave on about how good it is, and whilst she's raving on about it you've moved on to your next subject and are having that published.... Theres only so many times that she can bleet on about how much better hers is than yours, the stone cold truth is that yours got published.

She either needs to step up or shut up. By the sounds of things shes trailing in your wake and will be for some time to come....


Ooooo does that mean she'll probably make an appearance on dPS soon then?

[Murtasma]

I think she's already won. She probably just wanted to piss you off like your husband said "sibling rivial" sorry but it looks like she accomplished her mission.

The best thing to do is be the mature one and give zero thought to the situation. Let your sister do what she wants she's obviously jealous. It's a simple as creating a group in facebook with limited privileges to your profile until she learns to play nice.

[NicoleScraps]

Originally Posted by RecurrentNerve

Or perhaps post a few bad pictures, then once she's done her own versions, change the album title to 'How to take terrible photographs' or similar.

Yeah, that would be a good one!

Originally Posted by jamesev

Ooooo does that mean she'll probably make an appearance on dPS soon then?

Probably not. I have suggested this forum to her many times and as I said, she apparently thinks she is above getting advice from anyone.

Originally Posted by Murtasma

I think she's already won. She probably just wanted to piss you off like your husband said "sibling rivial" sorry but it looks like she accomplished her mission.

You're right. If that was her mission then she has clearly won. Except to me, it is not a game. And I don't understand the "why" behind it all. I have never done anything except be supportive of her.

[Murtasma]

Originally Posted by NicoleScraps

You're right. If that was her mission then she has clearly won. Except to me, it is not a game. And I don't understand the "why" behind it all. I have never done anything except be supportive of her.

You're siblings there dosen't need to be a reason.

[Jim Poor]

Your sister isn't Gturner by chance>

What a surprise

[NicoleScraps]

Originally Posted by Jim Poor

Your sister isn't Gturner by chance>

What a surprise

Ha! No. That's not her. LOL.

[Tamster]

Oh wow...She is really being nasty towards you, as teh others have said she is tryign to get the best of you! Don't allow it, dont show her any of your stuff don't offer to help her anymore since obv she thinks she knows everything about this. I would totally stay away from the subject if you do end up going to dinner or change the subject as soon as she wants to talk about it. Shes only thinking about herself at this point not the bond between sisters. It will comeback and smack her in the face once she realizes how childish she has been acting!
Good luck! easier said then done, but try not to let her get to you anymore girl!!!

[BigMac65]

A wise man once said there is only ONE thing in this life we truly have control over.........thats our ATTITUDES.........we have the power to choose what our attitude is.....stop letting your sis rob you of that control........