What a surprise

[gturner]

My outlaws arrived in town yesterday for a visit.
Anyway, Grandma brings round a lovely family photo book done by my sister in-law for her birthday. What a surprise to see 30 pages of my photos so nicely presented. I was somewhere between proud and seriously pissed off.

The silly wench lives 1000 miles away and thought it would be nice to raid grandma's computer to get all the photo updates I have sent and print up a book. No courtesy call, no please can I, zip, nothing.

Grandma is so happy with the book that I cannot throw my toys, but SIL is scratched off the photo update emails and grannies new emails will have a large watermark on them.

[PnwGuy]

What sort of relationship do you have with your sis-in-law? Do you think she knowingly did it in an attempt to disrespect you as a photographer or do you think that she's just like other non-photographers who don't understand the way we think and feel about our photos and that there is a protocol that should be followed when using someone else's shots? Would you have said yes if she had asked?

It sounds like grandma ended up with an awesome gift. If you had sent the photos to her she'll know they are yours. I guess I'm having a little trouble understanding why you're so upset about it unless there's some existing bad blood between you two.

If you have a good relationship with the SIL, then compliment her on the book and have a conversation with her about asking first next time and to make it up to you have give you a copy of the book, at her expense of course.

[gturner]

She isn't my best friend, mostly because of this type of thing. She only looks out for herself to the detriment of others, often those closet to her. She is a graphics person so certainly does know better. And it is not 1 or 2 pics in the book, it is the ENTIRE book that is mine.

It is more a case of no manners or common courtesy.

I did say I was somewhere between proud and pissed.

[ML Photography]

Originally Posted by PnwGuy

What sort of relationship do you have with your sis-in-law? Do you think she knowingly did it in an attempt to disrespect you as a photographer or do you think that she's just like other non-photographers who don't understand the way we think and feel about our photos and that there is a protocol that should be followed when using someone else's shots? Would you have said yes if she had asked?

It sounds like grandma ended up with an awesome gift. If you had sent the photos to her she'll know they are yours. I guess I'm having a little trouble understanding why you're so upset about it unless there's some existing bad blood between you two.

If you have a good relationship with the SIL, then compliment her on the book and have a conversation with her about asking first next time and to make it up to you have give you a copy of the book, at her expense of course.

+1

I second this, feels like there more than just this going on here...

[RichardTaylor]

Let your sister in law know how you feel.

[candleman]

Originally Posted by RichardTaylor

Let your sister in law know how you feel.

+1

inlaws... more trouble than they are worth sometimes.

[theosus]

I would have signed the inside front cover with a big black sharpie or something - like authors do at books signings.. "to grandma with love"

However - Im not sure I would have made a big stink about it otherwise. After all - you gave the pictures to grandma, maybe grandma happened to mention to the sister "I really like to hold photos - can you get them printed for me?"

Since the book was given to the person you gave the photos to anyway, I dont see it as such a big deal. Now if sis made one for every close relative and gave them out at x-ma$$, you earn the right to go postal on her ass.

But - how big a deal I see it doesnt matter - they are after all YOUR pictures - and if it really pisses you off, thats your right, and I would tell her so.

[gturner]

It certainly is not worth the family peace, I just needed a vent in a place where most folks would understand this frustration (one that is quite peculiar to photographers)

My cousins wife wanted to do the same thing a few weeks back for my uncle. All it took was a phone call and she had a hi-res cd mailed to her the next day.

Manners - you either have them or you don't.

[Digidave]

However - Im not sure I would have made a big stink about it otherwise. After all - you gave the pictures to grandma, maybe grandma happened to mention to the sister "I really like to hold photos - can you get them printed for me?"

I'd be willing to bet you that this is the case. Grandma probably didn't want to bother you with getting the pictures printed because you were so nice to have sent them in the first place. Or, maybe, the Sister-in-Law thought, "Wow! These pictures are so nice! I'll bet you grandma would just love to have them set up in a picture book so she could page through them from time to time.".

Keep in mind that most Grandparents are "Old School" people. They don't carry around a Laptop or an Iphone to share their pictures with friends. They like the hands-on approach. maybe something to consider in the future? Just a thought.

[andyw]

Originally Posted by gturner

It is more a case of no manners or common courtesy.

That is the thing - the lack of manners in not even bothering to ask in the first place.
I would have been dropping lots of sarcastic "copyright" comments.

I am lucky, in my army of in-laws there is only one of them who is savvy enough either with photography or technology in general to be able to do this.
She does calendars each year for all the immediate family and regularly uses some of my family snaps for it. BUT, she has the courtesy to always ask first if she can use them.

Also she also puts my name out there when anyone amongst her friends etc. asks who did the photos etc.