Linguistic pet hates..

[Swisstony10]

Ok, so it's not really about hating as such - that's a fairly extreme sentiment, but I was having a chat with my sister on the phone over the weekend, and we were discussing phrases which people use, which are "broken" versions of English phrases which have been around for a long time, and which have been "broken" in such a way that they no longer made sense. It turns out that the same things bug us both.

Earlier on I visited our staff canteen for lunch, and had to bite my lip through an exchange between the chef and the person in the queue in front of me. She asked "Can I get a ham sandwich?", to which the chef replied "No, you can't. I can get it for you though, and then you can have it." he said it with a smile though, and she did a kind of a nervous laugh...

That just reminded me of the conversation I had with my sister on Saturday.

"...I could care less..." - Could you? Good, glad to hear that you at least care a bit. I'd be more worried if you couldn't care less, because that would mean that you don't care at all. The phrase "I could care less" doesn't really help me much though - it tells me that you care (on account of it being possible for you to care less), but it doesn't tell me how much. You might care a tremendous amount, or you might only care a tiny bit - either way, you do care. I, for example, could care less about the standard of my photographic prints. I couldn't, however, care less about the colour of the shirt being worn by the person doing the printing (or, indeed, whether they're wearing a shirt at all).

"...The proof's in the pudding..." Honestly? You mean, you found the proof, checked that it proved whatever it is that needs proving, and then concealed it in a pudding? Why would you hide some important proof in a pudding? Are you sure that you didn't mean that "the proof of the pudding is in the eating"?
Think about it this way:
"The proof of the pudding's in the eating." - this statement means that you can go on and on and on for as long as you like about the ingredients of the pudding, the care that you put into making it, the years of education at the celebrated French pudding school that led to your amazing pudding-related abilities - none of this will demonstrate to me the quality of the pudding, until I, or someone, actually tries it. The proof of the pudding (or at least, the proof of its quality), thus, being in the eating of it.

The one that really bugs my sister (she works in a customer service type of environment though, so she's exposed to people using it a lot - it doesn't really bug me, because it doesn't happen to me) is when people come to her desk to ask her a question, and start with the word "Question!". She's pretty intelligent - she can normally tell by the kinds of words people use, and a general questioning tone in their voice, that they're asking her a question, she doesn't need to be primed with the information that a question is about to be asked. She'll work it out for herself. If you must announce the fact that you're about to ask her a question, use a complete sentence - something like "Excuse me, I have a question.." or "Excuse me, could I ask you a question?" (although that last one might get the reply "You just did.") should do it.

I should point out that my sister loves her job, she loves providing a good service to passengers, and helping them out, and on the whole, she finds the vast majority of people she gets to deal with to be delightful people - it's why she keeps on doing the job - but if you're ever on a cruise ship, and you want to ask an English member of staff a question, just in case it's my sister, please don't start by saying "Question!". You'll get the same level of service if you do, but you'll make her day that tiny bit brighter if you don't.

Anybody else have any broken, meaningless or otherwise annoying phrases?

Russ.

PS - this is meant to be lighthearted...

[BEGM83]

My teacher at primary school always pulled kids up for saying "Can i go to the toilet?" always replied with "I don't know. I would hope so, you're 11 and if you can't go to the toilet at this age there is something very wrong but if you're asking if you MAY go to the toilet then yes you can"

Always creases me up thinking about that.

[junglebear]

I think you need a holiday.

[candidrachel]

I always thought it was "couldn't care less" not "could care less". I don't use phrases much apart from the old cliche of "at the end of the day....".

Here are some of my pet peeves:

Can't see the wood through the trees
This too shall pass - Remind me to punch the next person who says that one!
Six and two threes
Stuck between and rock and a hard place

I'm sure there are many more but that's all I can remember for now!

[neurotek]

irregardless of what you think, if somebody axes me to get them a ham sandwich, i get it.

sandwich is actually a messed up word, why do people call it samwitch?

[TheDarkReaver]

Originally Posted by neurotek

irregardless of what you think, if somebody axes me to get them a ham sandwich, i get it.

If somebody started axing me over a sandwich I'd try and get away for some medical attention.

[RLucas]

Are you channeling George Carlin?

[CheaperKings]

Originally Posted by Swisstony10

"...The proof's in the pudding..."

I am sooooo guilty of that

[BEGM83]

I hate mispronounciations too. Common ones round here are;

Arks
Pacific
Arctic Lorry
Fink

If i arks a pacific question about an arctic lorry i fink i iz wel gunna get confused!

[PowerPix]

Oh, here's a good one....."I could eat you all up!"

Sarcasm