Yay! My cuz just called me (again) and asked me to shoot her wedding...

[Tzetsin]

POOR ME! *cries*

My cousin has asked me numerous times if I would shoot her wedding. Numerous times I've said noooooo...

I've explained to her that while 2000$ worth of booze is nice, it'll be gone in a night and cause her nothing but problems. A photographer will last a lifetime, ditch the booze, get a real photographer. But alas, people are not so practical...

So anyway, I get a call from her today and she says "ok, i'm going to get my other cousin to do the wedding, but can you still shoot the groom getting ready? She can't be two places at once."

................

Another hour worth of begging and pleading her to get a real photographer yields nothing. Finally exasperated from hearing how she "can't afford one" (cause she spent all the money on booze n shoes) I said, "Fine, don't worry about it. I'll find you a good photographer and take care of it."

Now I have to take care of it....

And of course I can't get her a cheap one right cause then I might as well have done it myself, and they have to be AWSOME so that she can never say: " Well... my other cousin coulda done thaaaat..."

stupid, stupid me...

OK kids, since this is the business section I have to talk about business.

THIS IS NO WAY TO DO BUSINESS.

Thank you.
-J

[TDavie]

Take what i say lightly as i am by far an amatuer but looking at your photos.. i think you could definitely shoot the groom.. (if not the whole wedding).

I can see in your photos you know what makes a photo stand out and even though your 500px photos arent portraits or of any people at all.. you seem that you know your way around the camera.. I can see why you would be hesitant about doing the wedding never have done anything like it ( i havent either but ill take other photographers word on it that its not easy) but shooting the groom getting ready i think would be great practice and wouldnt overwork you at all. just my opinion.. im sure im about to get put on blast for that one though.

[Tzetsin]

Blasted for a complement? lol, no most certainly not

I hear what your saying though. Your right, I wouldnt have much of a problem shooting the groom at all. I have the skill, and the gear to pull that off without a doubt. I could probably even do a stand up job of the wedding too.

The issue is that she is a dear friend of mine. More than just a cousin and I want her wedding to be memorable and beautiful. I want her to have a way to look back and remember this special day with pride, and be able to share the photos and the memories with friends and family in the future.

If i was to do it myself I'm confident that I wouln't screw up the exposure, focus or white balance, but I would miss out on about 90% of the most memorable moments because I've never done it before. This is why I keep encouraging her to hire a professional.

What really threw me off the deep end is when she finally gave up on me, she asked another cousin (on the other side of her family, I don't know her). I asked her about the girl and she said she took a couple classes... Who knows, maybe this cousin of hers is really good... but i have serious doubts.

Suddenly my refusal has made her choose an even worse route, and no amount of pleading on my part was going to take the money from the booze and put it on a photographer. Unfortunately around here booze is a big part of the wedding celebration and she'd rather give up her memories to please a crowd of people that want to get drunk for free.

[graciousness]

As long as she knows that she is going to regret it for the rest of her life.

Then you can tell her "I told you so."

Jason, as much as I know somewhere in your shutter-button-pushing finger you want to help out and help, you know you're right. That you will miss out on 90% of the wedding if you shoot it.

But then, on the other hand, she's going to have a possible disasterous wedding photos in her hands if the other cousin who took "a couple of lessons" do it.

Perhaps you should just throw yourself in the deep end and do it. As a present. If you know that you can pull it off and probably do a much better job than the other cousin, then do it. You will both regret it in the end if she comes crying having bad photos of the wedding.

And I know you can do it. It will be bloody hard. It will be nerve wracking. But you will do a good job, if not, great. Because your heart directs you to do nothing less.

Who knows....you may even enjoy it somewhat?

[Roshenk]

Personally I agree with the consensus that you have the experience and mindset to do fine with this...but why not suggest both you AND the other cousin shoot it? That will lower the pressure without leaving you open to regret later...and you may be able to enjoy part of the wedding.

2000 bucks worth of booze will make anything less traumatic.

[sk66]

I say don't "do it." If you really feel you must contribute, go ahead and bring some gear and take some pictures. But do not commit if you are uncomfortable with it.

Tough position. The way I see it, you are kind of screwed. I think your best bet is just to attend and drink the free booze.

If you hire a photog, you're out $$ and no guarantees; if they mess up then YOU messed up.
If you take the gig and mess up....
If you do some of the shots and do a better job than the other cousin (and she messes it up), then you're a prick because you obviously could have done the shoot and done it better, you "just didn't want to."

If you just drink, then she gets what she gets. You did your best to direct her to "the right choice" and you can't really be blamed for that.

[dlambert]

I agree that one of the dangers (as Steve indicated) of bringing in another photographer is that they might not do a good job. Since your cousin seems to have basically checked out on this decision, I think it's at least possible that you could bring in a very good photographer, only to have him struggle because she's not willing or able to cooperate and listen to good advice.

Maybe it's time to appeal to a higher power.... talk to her mom.

[bhursey]

I always cave to my cousens shoot 3 cousins weddings and have 2 more in the next year. I think you have the skill...

[Tzetsin]

Lol you guys...

I've seen a zillion people roll through here with this same issue and its always " stay away! " lol but now you guys are encouraging.

The wedding is in September so I'd have a few months to practice and learn the shotlist... perhaps I should just do it and take the money I'll save and get myself a used 200mm F2.0 or 300mm F2.8 lol (yea right)

Maybe I'll think about it for a couple days.

Any thoughts on lighting? I've got speedlights and remote triggers, should I have an "assistant" running around with a wireless strobe maybe? (if i decide to do it?)

My new camera should show up by then too. I think it has a "wedding" mode that guarantees perfect composition, moments and sharpness as long as you are shooting .jpg... ;D

[rspears]

This is almost the exact way that I went from a biker who takes pictures at motorcycle rallies, to a wedding photographer. The first one I did was a favor to a family member who just didn't have the money to hire a real pro. I didn't think I could do the job justice. I initially refused, and then got the guilt treatment.

Like you, I gave myself a crash course on weddings, and went to a wedding and followed the photographer around. By the time my first wedding came up, I was nervous, but I did it. I got all the important shots, and looking back, it wasn't a bad job. I didn't regret it, and now I enjoy doing weddings.