What’s Your Preference?

Yellow Dog · #1 (**permalink**) 05-07-2011, 09:54 PM

Ok, I've been doing portrait photography for a few years now but last night I must say was the worst experience ever! It was an engagement session which of course means that I have to face this guy again and for a whole lot longer than an hour. Basically, this guy got pissed off every time I asked him to adjust a pose. And I'm talking calling me names, screaming and yelling and even punching himself! Needless to say I'm glad my husband was there assisting me because I was a little afraid of this crack pot. I asked them to think about how much they loved each other while I was taking their picture and he went off that I was questioning his love for her. um no. At that point I just instructed the girl how to pose and let him do his own thing and things got better but then I forgot myself and asked him to tilt his head the other way. I saw instantly my mistake because he just glared at me. At that point I was like ok we are done and started walking back toward the cars. That is when he started cursing and punching himself. So I get that he's unstable but now I'm stuck doing their wedding in a few weeks and have no idea how I'm going to get through it if I can't even ask him to tilt his head the other way. Help! What do I do? Just let him do his own thing and not worry about how the pictures turn out?

MrJones · #2 (**permalink**) 05-07-2011, 10:04 PM

well.. how did his wife to be react to all of that?
if she can calm him down then have a talk with her.
if not - go with what ever you can get from him.. it will be more of a candid type of photography but at least you'll get home in one piece!

mosgood · #3 (**permalink**) 05-07-2011, 10:57 PM

Hm, he may be getting frustrated by your requests (not making sense to him). Is there anyway to meet with the fiance or talk with her over the phone to get some insight into handling his reactions to your requests? If she is engaged to him, she must deal with his behavior.

Also if there's a way to direct him without actually touching him, or maybe showing him what you are looking for by modeling the pose? It's certainly worth a shot. Hope this helps!

NicoleScraps · #4 (**permalink**) 05-07-2011, 11:15 PM

Do you have anything in your contract saying that "the client" needs to coorperate with you or facilitate the photographic process by coorperating with you? Honestly I might be tempted to tell them to screw off and find another photographer. It is one thing to not understand what someone wants, it is a totally different thing to raise your voice and punch yourself.....that is just weird and quite inappropriate for the situation.

graciousness · #5 (**permalink**) 05-07-2011, 11:27 PM

I wouldn't do it if he's displaying belligerence. If he's already being a freak because he's asked to just tilt his head for a photo shoot -- theres' not telling how he'd be on the day when you have to shoot them for hours.

It's your call how you would want to do this, but yeah, I'd talk to the fiance and tell her your concerns. If you decide to do the wedding still, she also needs to set her expectations and that the photos may not turn out as best as they can be due to her future husband. You also need to keep in mind that if you do take the photos on the day and submit the photos later to them, god knows how he would be looking at the photos.

He certainly doesn't sound stable and heck, I'd rather loss the money by canceling the wedding than dealing with a nightmare like him. But that's just me - your tolerance is different to mine.

Just remember that you don't have to deal with anyone that makes you feel that uncomfortable.

thatBilly · #6 (**permalink**) 05-07-2011, 11:29 PM

Personally, I'd send them a refund along with a letter explaining that his unwilling participation would jeopardise your results and it is in everyone's best interest that they find a photographer whom he is comfortable with.

Mike367 · #7 (**permalink**) 05-08-2011, 12:04 AM

OK, I'm a guy, and this probably causes a different reaction...I would speak to both of them together, and be very blunt.

"Look, you hired a professional, and then you argue with me?! I'm the photographer here! Either follow direction or find someone you are willing to take direction from. END OF SUBJECT!"

graciousness · #8 (**permalink**) 05-08-2011, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike367

OK, I'm a guy, and this probably causes a different reaction...I would speak to both of them together, and be very blunt.

"Look, you hired a professional, and then you argue with me?! I'm the photographer here! Either follow direction or find someone you are willing to take direction from. END OF SUBJECT!"

I don't think that the dude would take that well. I'd be dodging punches or bullets if that kind of tone is used against someone that unstable.

Digidave · #9 (**permalink**) 05-08-2011, 12:47 AM

I've never dealt with this before so take this with a grain of salt.

You were in what was essentially a one on one situation. You did the best you could & nobody will fault you for that. The wedding though is a different situation. There will be others there. I'm assuming there will be groomsmen & such. I don't think you will have anything to worry about. He may of acted like an ass in front of his wife-to-be but I'll bet he won't in front of his in-laws.