Family Did me wrong...advice needed

[Daryl Everett]

First let me say that my husband's advice is "just don't say anything and never take pictures for her again. That's why you don't deal with family." Now the scoop.
My SIL has been asking me to convince my bro to let me do a shoot for them to build my portfolio (he hates pictures). I avoided it b/c I figured it was never going to give me a return on my investment. Finally she said he wanted to do pictures and asked about pricing. I told her I'd shoot free but she would have to pay for prints. I know things are really tight for them so I offered a discount. The shoot was great and we got some great pictures, considering my exhausted bro.
I posted one file to FB and she asked about getting it e-mailed or texted and how to get the other shots that I put in a secure gallery so that she could get prints to give out. I explained again that she would have to buy prints but FB sized files would be included of those and she could get the other FB size files for a few $ each.

I took the disc to her house to let her pick and order. She picked and wanted a collage of a few. The were going out of town the next morning and she said to work on the collages and she was goign to let my bro know the price of the others and they would be able to pay me the next payday and then get collages once they were done. Fine. I realized the next day that I forgot the disc and they were already gone so I didn't call and mention it. Then I was out of town for the weekend. When I got back I sent her a sample collage and asked for feedback thinking she was waiting for these to pay for the others. She just oohed and ahhed nothing more.
Tonight I noticed one of my pics as her profile pic on FB...one I didn't send her. She uploaded most of the ones (if not all) of the ones that she liked from my disc to her FB while she knew I was out of town and away from the computer without even calling me...knowing I had already said she had to pay for files and that I don't sell full-sized files anymore. She mentioned me in the first caption and when someone asked who took them she said her SIL. I replied to that comment with my page and blog and send a friend request to the inquirer. I also sent her a message and asked if my bro had told her when they'd be able to order the stuff they want and that I need to get my disc which I had planned to pick up today but go sidetracked.

Part of me wants to tack the cost on the bill and not so politely explain to her the rules of C. and good family courtesy.

I sort of expected something like this so I hadn't called attention to the forgotten disc hoping she was too busy to notice it until I could go over and get it.

What is the objective reaction to this?

[LeeR]

Please forgive the frankness of my comments. I do not mean to be harsh but I am going to say it like I see it. First, your SIL appears has acted deplorably, but if you hope to maintain a relationship with your brother you are going to have to let this one go. Working with family is always a problem and the sooner you come up with a family policy the happier everyone will remain. Now the harsh part; I have looked at your images, both on flickr and your online portfolio and I see a lot of exposure problems. Proper exposure is fundamental to photography and in my opinion someone struggling with exposure has no business charging anyone for their work. That doesn't mean we don't all miss every now and then, but we never, never ever under any circumstances show them to our clients or post them on the net.

[Daryl Everett]

Originally Posted by LeeR

Please forgive the frankness of my comments. I do not mean to be harsh but I am going to say it like I see it. First, your SIL appears has acted deplorably, but if you hope to maintain a relationship with your brother you are going to have to let this one go. Working with family is always a problem and the sooner you come up with a family policy the happier everyone will remain. Now the harsh part; I have looked at your images, both on flickr and your online portfolio and I see a lot of exposure problems. Proper exposure is fundamental to photography and in my opinion someone struggling with exposure has no business charging anyone for their work. That doesn't mean we don't all miss every now and then, but we never, never ever under any circumstances show them to our clients or post them on the net.

Not offended at all! I know I struggle with exposure/lighting. My flickr page is something only friends and you guys see, my actual clients don't see it. My Blogspot page however is viewed by clients. If you have some time would you mind pointing out specifics on the exposure so I can take note and improve? I'm wondering if some of it is caused by editing with my computer when my monitor is not calibrated...I know I know but right now the funds aren't there.

[LeeR]

Thank you for taking my advice in the spirit it was intended. Let me explain with the following illustration in mind:



This is a graphic illustration of Ansel Adam's Zone System. For our purposes we simply want to notice that the gray scale is divided into 11 different shades from purest black to purest white. Notice also, that in the white and black there is no detail, they are simply solid colors. If your monitor doesn't show a difference between zones 9 and 10, or zones 0 and 1, then you have a serious monitor problem. If you can afford it, a monitor calibrator will allow you to see much more refined differences, but you need to see these differences at a bare minimum.
Next, in all but the rarest exceptions, we want whites to show some shadow detail. We are only willing to tolerate pure white with no detail in very small areas, usually highlights, and even then, we want them surrounded by areas of slight detail. You may find that most of the images you have posted can be salvaged, now that you know what to look for.
(Caveat: For some reason we are not as concerned when a photograph has little detail in the darkest areas. We have all seen images of an item or person being surrounded by black. However, I would suggest you do your best to keep this to a minimum as well.)

(For more information on the chart above you can look where I found it here.)

[Daryl Everett]

Originally Posted by LeeR

Thank you for taking my advice in the spirit it was intended. Let me explain with the following illustration in mind:



This is a graphic illustration of Ansel Adam's Zone System. For our purposes we simply want to notice that the gray scale is divided into 11 different shades from purest black to purest white. Notice also, that in the white and black there is no detail, they are simply solid colors. If your monitor doesn't show a difference between zones 9 and 10, or zones 0 and 1, then you have a serious monitor problem. If you can afford it, a monitor calibrator will allow you to see much more refined differences, but you need to see these differences at a bare minimum.
Next, in all but the rarest exceptions, we want whites to show some shadow detail. We are only willing to tolerate pure white with no detail in very small areas, usually highlights, and even then, we want them surrounded by areas of slight detail. You may find that most of the images you have posted can be salvaged, now that you know what to look for.
(Caveat: For some reason we are not as concerned when a photograph has little detail in the darkest areas. We have all seen images of an item or person being surrounded by black. However, I would suggest you do your best to keep this to a minimum as well.)

(For more information on the chart above you can look where I found it here.)

I see the differences very distinctly so I guess the problem is my eye not the monitor!
I tend to adjust the black setting to remove detail...perhaps a fault!
and adjust them to be quite contrasty this is the case with the maternity and baby pictures on my blog. The wedding shots...UGH...my flash evidently doesn't like my camera and I learned that my camera doesn't like AV or TV mode with a flash so it was killing me with too much bounced light or the flash not firing...awful...but my niece insisted I photograph her wedding. I'll take a look at the images and see if I can adjust the exposure with my nifty new lightroom software. My overzealous use of it is probably the problem anyway adjusting back toward RAW is probably what I need to do.
Thanks!

[gturner]

We may be related... through SIL!

[Dajuan]

Originally Posted by Daryl Everett

The wedding shots...UGH...my flash evidently doesn't like my camera and I learned that my camera doesn't like AV or TV mode with a flash so it was killing me with too much bounced light or the flash not firing...awful...but my niece insisted I photograph her wedding. I'll take a look at the images and see if I can adjust the exposure with my nifty new lightroom software.

Your camera doesn't take the pictures, the photographer does. The earlier advice regarding how to deal with this & family appears amiable to you which is good. But if you have any love and respect for photography, learn the interoperability of your gear and improve your efforts. Those are likely more in line with what you'd prefer than insisting your family find a more experienced photog. The business side of photography is even more important, whether family or someone off the street, business is business, until it isn't business anymore.