The composition is great! I even like the fact that it is overexposed. And as far as your concept, I do think you achieved it. It is just a little too soft for my tastes. If you are using AF, try prefocusing on something in the area where you will be standing, then slide the switch on the lens to M.. It may help to lock in the focus if you are using the remote, or delay settings on your camera. Or try using just the single AF mode.
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