HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. GO TO A SECOND-HAND STORE AND BUY A PAIR OF MEN’S USED SIZE 16 BOOTS.
2. PLACE THEM ON YOUR FRONT PORCH ALONG WITH A COPY OF GUNS&AMMO MAGAZINE.
3. PUT A FEW GIANT DOG DISHES NEXT TO THE BOOTS.
4. LEAVE A NOTE ON YOUR DOOR THAT READS...
HEY BUBBA, BIG JIM, DUKE AND SLIM-
I WENT TO THE GUN SHOP FOR MORE AMMUNITION. BACK IN AN HOUR. DON’T MESS WITH THE PIT BULLS, THEY ATTACKED THE MAILMAN AGAIN THIS MORNING AND MESSED HIM UP REAL BAD.
I DON’T THINK KILLER TOOK PART IN IT BUT IT WAS HARD TO TELL FROM ALL THE BLOOD.
P.S. I LOCKED ALL FOUR OF ‘EM IN THE HOUSE. YOU BETTER WAIT OUTSIDE.
