Well my family in Florida must also be like Melaina's. I also thought it gruesome to have photos of the person taken in their casket. But our very old family photos have several relatives' "death photos" and I remember my grandparents telling me it was a common practice.
I do not think I would feel comfortable shooting someone in their casket but I did like the above suggestions for the reception still using a telephoto so as not to be obtrusive. When I lived in California, it was very common for people to take photos as memorial services which of course there are no bodies there or the person has been cremated.
But I will give you kudos for helping your friend's family in their request.
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