I say shoot it yourself!
I've always wondered if anyone had ever set up their own shots for the important stuff and fired it with a remote... give the guests kodak disposables and get them to photograph everything else - leave a couple on each table (splash out, get some with the little flash unit!) and then self portrait everything else! -- I know, it'd be tough and it's your day so you don't want to worry... but heck it'd be fun!
...alternatively, pay for someone to shoot and deliver raw and that's what you'll get - then you can develop what you want, how you want, as long as they're aware you're buying raw and what you're going to do.... you will pay a premium for this I'd imagine?
Or just be very definite about what you want like the other guys said. It's your bat and ball and you'll take it and go home if you want to.
Have a great day!
S
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