“Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for.” – Jerry Seinfeld
No doubt, you’ve experienced the frustration of photographing your own toddler or a family with toddlers. Frustration and anxiety come from not knowing how to relate to toddlers and get them to cooperate for photos. But there is a way to have a great experience photographing toddlers even if they are grumpy, unruly, shy or scared.
I’ve developed five strategies based on my own career as a portrait photographer and insights from childhood psychology.
If you struggle when photographing toddlers, these five tips will transform your experience and theirs too!
1. Meet the toddler where they are
“The fundamental job of a toddler is to rule the universe.” – Lawrence Kutner
Most toddlers are not interested in sitting for a picture. For them, life is all about exploration. They don’t understand the picture taking process. Photography is about cherishing their childhood and marveling at their growth.
Begin by realizing that a toddler does not know what a photography session is about. They may even be confused or scared during this new experience.
I was photographing a family and the mom and dad told me that their little guy was terrified of the camera. When he saw my camera he burst into tears and ran away. It seemed like an impossible situation.
2. Promise to be patient
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” – Franklin P. Jones
If you’re planning to photograph your own toddler or another family, you must begin by promising to be patient.
This should happen long before you pick up your camera. Patience must be built into your photo session. Make the decision in advance that nothing will cause you to become upset.
Photographers only feel impatient with toddlers because they’ve lost control and don’t know what to do. When you promise to be patient, your mind will be clear to think of solutions.
When that little boy ran away from the camera, I had to be clear in my thinking and figure out what to do next.
Promise to be patient no matter what happens and then begin to create an environment in which toddlers will thrive.
3. Develop a friendship
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.”– Henry Ford
Kids love to make new friends. During photo sessions with toddlers (or older kids), you must make time to befriend them. A fun grown-up is like a superhero leading them into adventures.
When a toddler is shy, give them time to warm up. They’ll let you know when they’re ready to be friends.
You can even make friends with misbehaving toddlers. Give them time to run free and pretty soon they’ll pull you by the hand to go play. This will give you great opportunities for candid photos.
The terrified little boy took about 20 minutes to calm down. In a few more minutes we were friends and my camera was no longer a threat to him.
4. Give the child high fives
“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Toddlers love to show off and make you laugh, and they love to receive praise from grown-ups.
When they do something well, give them a pat on the head or a high five. Simple gestures like this bring them to life.
Note: Be aware of cultural differences. Touching an Asian (or more specifically, Buddhist) person on the head is an insult.
If they give you rocks, leaves, or sticks as gifts, receive them with excitement!
Now that you’ve established an encouraging friendship, you can ask them to sit or pose. Get your pictures quickly, give the child a high five, and move on.
I didn’t force the terrified little guy to sit and smile properly. There was nothing but friendship, encouragement, and high fives. He would gladly sit for a moment or two. I was quick with my camera and captured many candid photos too.
When you focus less on telling the toddler what to do, and more on drawing out genuine happiness and laughter, you’ll get the photos you want without the stress.
You won’t even need patience if you create a toddler-friendly experience.
5. Don’t force the moment
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse
One of the toughest problems you’ll face is toddlers not wanting to be in group photos. The more you try to force the toddler to sit for a photo, the harder it often becomes.
Allow for a contrast of sitting for a photo and then time to explore.
When toddlers refuse to join in the family photo, I don’t force them. Every parent knows that toddlers love to interrupt what adults are doing. As soon as I start photographing Mom and Dad together, the toddler wants to be picked up. It’s a perfect moment for group cuddles, bringing out beautiful smiles from everyone.
That terrified little boy did not want to be in photos, but he did want to be comforted by mom and dad.
As he sat with them, I did things that would make him smile and laugh. I made a teddy bear dance on my camera. He smiled at Teddy which was as good as smiling at the camera.
Bonus: Dealing with the toddler’s parents
“We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.” – Phyllis Diller
Sometimes the hard part is dealing with a toddler’s parents. Some parents will be easy-going and let you run the photo session the way it seems best to you. Other parents will not. They have a deep need for things to be orderly and go as they planned.
During the session, keep reassuring parents that everything is going well, even if it doesn’t feel like it to them. Assure and show them that you know how to handle toddlers and that you will make beautiful photos.
Remind them how much their child has accomplished in these early years of life. Inspire parents to see the fun of the moment. Remember, you promised to have patience with the toddler, and his/her parents!
Let them be toddlers
“There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Remember what it’s like to be a two-year-old. They don’t care about pictures like we do (but they will one day).
Promise to be patient and then create an environment for toddlers to thrive. Even when they start out cranky, angry, shy or scared, you’ll let them be themselves and experience friendship and encouragement. This is what leads to wonderful photos of toddlers.
I’d love to hear about your experiences photographing toddlers in the comments below. Please share your thoughts and images of toddlers.